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View Full Version : Looks like we'll be putting our beloved Baxter down on Friday



directmailscrapper
05-23-2007, 11:17 PM
We have 4 cats. The 2 older ones were adopted as kittens from a kitten rescue shelter -- they were both flea ridden but they adopted me when I went to visit the shelter (in a bedroom of a beautiful house, BTW!). That was 15 years ago. Baxter and Simon have both been WONDERFUL members of our family.

Baxter developed kidney problems several months ago. We have been giving him sub-cutaneous fluids every other day ever since. (a needle under his skin). Emily has been devastated. She has known him her whole life and she adores him. We have made her a part of the "medical" team to keep him going as long as possible.

He now weighs almost nothing and has labored breathing. He is also behaving weird -- he was never one to dash out of an open door -- until the last several days. He hardly has the energy to get around -- unless a door is open and then he keeps trying to get outside. We don't want him to suffer, but it is going to be really hard to put him down. We've made an appointment for Friday at noon.

I can't decide if I'm going to tell Emily that we decided to put him down -- or if I'm just going to tell her he died. She's only 10 and she is so full of hope. We've tried not to give her false hopes, but I also didn't want her to mourn him for MONTHS! Any advice on this one?

I know there are a lot of pet lovers on the Shack. Keep us in your prayers.

Nancy

cindi
05-23-2007, 11:34 PM
and my folks had to put my Beloved samantha ( our dog) to sleep
they did not tell me beforehand. When I got home my mom just took my hand and said I have sad news... samantha is in heaven.
Looking back, I'm glad they didn't tell me before hand, Mom told me that Dad took her and that it was very peaceful. Sam Loved to ride in the back of the truck and thats how dad took her, the vet was so kind, he came out to the truck and dad had sams head in his lap scratching her ears( her fave thing) and the vet gave her the shot right there in the sun.
I was very comforted to know she was well taken care of & not scared. I hope this will give you a few ideas that you can adapt to your situation.
C

Scrap This!
05-23-2007, 11:36 PM
so sorry Nancy, we were in this same situation a few months ago however, it turned out that Hunter passed in the night a decision I was glad I did not have to make. It is hard to see your children and pets suffer so.

MyRnAbS
05-23-2007, 11:37 PM
OMG!!! I'm so sorry to hear this!! I'm so sad!! Please don't tell her! It's better if you just tell her he passed. You can tell her when she grows older. I'm so sorry to hear this!!! I'll have you and your family in my prayers.

hutchink
05-23-2007, 11:41 PM
Nancy,

I'm so sorry to hear the news on Baxter! I would not tell Emily about it before hand either....I think it will be way to hard on her.

~K

mjbonoan
05-23-2007, 11:57 PM
Oh no... that is so sad, he's been a member of your family for so long. Poor kitty and poor little Emily. Don't tell her you're putting him down, I think it would be less painful for her if she believes that it was natural causes.

I know that today was an ordeal for me just thinking that I was going to have to put Rowdy down and he's only been with us since last November. Pets become such important parts of our lives. I had totally forgotten what it was to lose a pet until today... you see, about 20 yrs ago my Chihuahua, PeeWee was hit by a car and I remember my dad wanting to shoot him and me just crying and screaming and not letting him do it... PeeWee died later that day. I think I would have come to terms with it much easier had it been natural causes, the same goes for Emily telling her that you had to put the kitty down might upset her more.

(((hugs to all of you)))

My prayers and condolences are with you...
Much love,
Mary Jayne

ellie
05-24-2007, 12:04 AM
Nancy, I am so sad to hear this news. Pets are so much a part of our family. I think it would be best to tell Emily after...it would probably be easier for her to understand. Please keep us posted on how you are all doing.

moosemama
05-24-2007, 04:45 AM
Nancy, I'm sorry to hear about your beloved Kitty. It's very difficult when pets leave us, they become a part of the family. You are in my prayers.

inkinupstamps
05-24-2007, 06:41 AM
Oh Nancy...I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you as you make this decision as it is so difficult. However, I applaud your unselfish attitude and are doing the right thing for dear Baxter and not allowing him to suffer. I made the same decision for my Bassett Hound (Winnie) a few years ago and went in with her while the doctor "put her to sleep." Morbid? No! I was with her, talking to her (ok, I was bawling my eyes out) stroking her and was with her for her last moments. As hard as that was for me I know I'd have had to live with guilt for keeping her alive just because I'd miss her, allowing her all the while to suffer just so I'd be happy.

All of that to say that you know when the time has come to do the right thing. Your daughter is probably too young to be there and know ahead of time. I don't think I'd would advise telling her before hand. This way you can explain quietly with her that Baxter had such a wonderful life with you and died quietly. Of course she'll mourn too. You all will, but you can rest in good conscience that you took the best of care of Baxter.

I'm so sorry. Truly. I have adored animals since I was a very little girl (about a 100 years ago) and it is so very, very painful to lose your pet...any pet. But it is also the circle of life.

Know you have your friends here thinking about you and caring about you and are very, very sympathetic for your loss.

Furry hugs to you.

Jennifer

Vintagegal
05-24-2007, 07:06 AM
I don't know what I would do in your shoes (regarding Emily), but I want to let you know I am so sorry you are going to lose a member of your family.

((((((( HUGS ))))))))

tesschap
05-24-2007, 07:20 AM
Nancy,

I am so sorry that you have to put one of your beloved babies down. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts. It's a tough call on what and when to tell Emily. It is always so difficult. I think I would also tell her after.

Sending you a big HUG.

Spartymom
05-24-2007, 08:01 AM
Nancy, I"m so sorry to hear about your cat. 2 years ago, we had to put our cat down. He was sick. The girls just love him and were 2 & 4 then. We told them that their dad had to take them to the vet b/c he was sick. Then we explain that Blackjack is going to heaven. DH took him to the vet and came back alone. Then of all things, we went camping b/c we had that planned. The girls talk about Blackjack still but know that he's in heaven. Kids all deal with it differently, I hope that Emily understands too. Thinking of you today.

mydogstinks2
05-24-2007, 09:04 AM
That is really a tough one. It sounds like it is the best thing for your baby to have him put down.

GrammaStamper
05-24-2007, 09:57 AM
Nancy, I'm sorry to hear about Baxter. If he's suffering, you are doing the right thing. I don't think I would tell Emily that putting him to sleep is a decision that can be made. She's too young and it may affect her thinking should a person she knows become sick and die. She'll want to know if a decision was made. Tell her that he died peacefully. There's plenty of time for her to learn that the care of our pets includes making tough decisions when they are not well.

teabear
05-24-2007, 09:58 AM
I am so sorry Nancy. When we had to put our beloved dog down about 5 years ago we told ds he was sick, and that we didn't think he would live very long several days before. We never told him he was put down. We told him he died peacefully and we were with him when it happened. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was the right thing to do. We made a little grave in the forest, but he wasn't there. Kyle put his favorite toys there. It seemed to help a little.

Sherry
05-24-2007, 10:04 AM
Aww, I'm so sorry. This is such sad news but you are doing the right thing. It's no fun to watch our little fur pals, suffer. I'll say a little prayer for Baxter.

JBgreendawn
05-24-2007, 10:17 AM
you've probably heard that we just went through something similar with our female lab. she had cancer. and it was a lump growing on her jaw bone that turned into lumps all through her face and jaw bone and eventually she could not eat anymore, so the last weekend i ended up cooking roast beef and cutting it like for a toddler and coaxing her to swallow it whole ( to get some food into her)
I did not tell my son on Monday morning that i was headed straight from his school to the vets, i told him when he came home from school and asked where she was.
our vets also were able to do this outside. so she didn't have the trauma of being dragged down the hall to the exam room. ( she went through so many vet visits the last 9 months of her life i think it was the only place she was afraid to be)

I am so sorry to hear about your cat, but i would not tell your daughter until its over.
{{{ HUGS }}}

Robinkay
05-24-2007, 10:52 AM
I am so sorry! It is such a hard decision to have a pet put to sleep. I had to do that to my kitty "Pele". I had the vet come to my house for a "farm call" so I wouldnt have to upset him(Pele) anymore than I had to. I hated to have to do it. I am crying right now as I write this and my pup hazel is jumping on my trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Animals...why do they not live forever! :(
Robinkay

Christie
05-24-2007, 11:32 AM
I'm so sorry for the hard decision you are having to make. It sounds like you are making the right one. Our pets rely on us to help them when they are ill. They desereve to be in a better place then on earth to suffer. I think I would wait and tell her afterwards. It's going to be hard on her and she will have to mourn in her own way. I hope that reading everyones stories has made it easier for you to know you are doing what is best for kitty.

ccstampin12
05-24-2007, 01:01 PM
This is so sad. You and your family are in my thoughts.
HUGS
Joanie

Fief14
05-24-2007, 02:47 PM
So sorry to hear this Nancy. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

smkymtsu
05-24-2007, 03:18 PM
Nancy, I read your post earlier today and have thought of nothing else since then. I would like to share my experience. I was about the same age as Emily when our dachshund, Trixie, was dying from cancer. I was scheduled to go to church camp but wanted to stay home since Trixie was so sick. My parents insisted that I go to camp and that they would be doing their best for Trixie…..which they were. She went downhill very fast after I left for camp and my parents at the advice of the vet had to make the decision to put her down. I was devastated when I came home from camp. It took me years to get over it and was always sad that I was not at home to say goodbye to Trixie. Even though we had other pets after Trixie I never allowed them to get as close to me as I did her. Four years ago my husband and I adopted a golden mix from a rescue shelter that we named Buddy. Buddy found a way to open a window to my heart and once again I became close to my pet as I had done many years ago with Trixie. Just this past February Buddy became ill and we had no choice but to put him down. He was just over 4 years old and it was totally unexpected. However, this time I was with Buddy and I was able to say goodbye. Our 17 year old son chose to not be in the room at the time but was able to say his goodbyes. We miss Buddy so much. He was so much a part of our family. I think I have been sad all these years that I was not given the opportunity to say goodbye to Trixie like I was able to with Buddy. Every person reacts differently and in the long run you know what is best for Emily. I just wanted to tell you that for me it was hard not being able to say goodbye to Trixie and that my parents always regretted not giving me that opportunity. My heart goes out to you……It is so hard to lose a pet.
Susan

directmailscrapper
05-24-2007, 04:07 PM
WOW. Everyone has been so supportive and I want you all to know how much I appreciate your advice. This is so tough -- I know that putting Baxter down is the right thing to do, and although my DH and I will be heartbroked when we do it, we have both come to terms with it (as much as you can).

I am definitely leaning towards NOT telling her that we DECIDED to put him down and letting her believe that it was just his time, although Susan's experience reinforces my thoughts that this isn't an easy decision. I am leaving work to go home in about an hour -- and I really hope that he is alreay gone! (isn't that sad!)

Thank you all for your kind words, warm thoughts and heartfelt suggestions. I'll keep you posted.

Nancy

MyRnAbS
05-24-2007, 04:31 PM
Nancy,
I'll keep you in my prayers.

May I share a childhood memory with you? Read if you're interested, I hope I can cheer you up.

When I was around 10 years old, my daddy bought me a goat. I loved that animal. I fed it with a baby bottle, and I would bathe it, and all summer long I remember being outside with that billy. One day out of the blue, my mother tells me, Myrna some red car passsed by and took the goat. We called the police, and they are looking for it. I was very naive, and I believed everything my parents would tell me. I worried sick over it. I cried for days, but soon I forgot. It wasn't until I was 16 years old that my grandmother told me the truth. She said, "honey you even ate that poor billy!" I was mad!! They had tricked me! I had only fattened the poor goat until it was ready to be eaten :shocked: Now I don't remember ever eating goat, but you never know. Back then they could fool you into eating just about anything. How gross is that??? In the south they even eat rabbit and snake!! YUCK!! Not me!!

At least you're putting your kitty to rest. Okay I know this has nothing to do with your matter, but I just wanted to let you know that when the time's right you may tell Emily, and she will understand. It's just that now she's too young. I'll be awaiting to hear more news on your tragedy. May the Lord be with you all day long!!

lisaguyon
05-24-2007, 04:34 PM
Nancy-

My heart goes out to you. I agree with letting her know that his time is near but not telling her that it is a choice. She is so young, but in the end you and DH know her better and know what she can handle. You are doing the right thing in not letting your furry one suffer but it is a hard decision to make I know as you will Baxter so much. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Lisa

Swanie78
05-24-2007, 05:43 PM
No advice on what to tell Emily, but lots of HUGS being sent your way!
My Alex is only 6 years old, but I sooooo dread the day that he leaves me. :(
Because of you, he's had many many more fun, healthy, loving years that he may not have had otherwise. :)

Deborah
05-24-2007, 09:12 PM
Oh Nancy, I'm so sad for you. We had to do the same thing when my little girl was eight years old, and it just broke our hearts. It's not much comfort knowing you're doing the right thing, I know, but dear old Baxter won't suffer any longer; I hope that brings you some peace.

Tantalize
05-25-2007, 02:15 AM
Not much advice from me either Nancy, just know that Im thinking of you and understand how hard this is. <3 Baster will be at peace and in a better place.