Holy freak me out! No one wants my kids. :(

[Erin K]

So it occurs to us we should do a will and outline who gets the kids if we die. :(

So first thought is Marcia because she's our family that is or faith and we want the boys to be brought up in our church.

Nope, she won't take them. Says she's too old.

So then my dad because he and my stepmom go to church (albeit not ours) and are stable and pretty young and active and fun.

They say they would take them put ship them off to the "best bording school" because they are not in a place where they can raise children.

My mom wants them but is less stable, drinks more than I like and no church. Also my stepdad is ANTI our church so that would be a confusing thing for them I'd think AND my mom wouldn't want to do visitation with my dad.

So anyone want my kids if I die? :(

[Nadine]

Oh Erin that is rough... I don't know what the solution will be, but I think it's good that you're figuring it out now. I hope you find something that works for everyone just in case.

[Erin K]

we decided we will just not die.

[Kreative Dryve]

That's a tough one isn't it?
I have given this a lot of thought too, my parents are in their 60's and would be great, they would take them in an instant, but their age is a question.

My sister Denise, has no kids of her own, and would make a logical choice, she has step kids that she is close too, more so than their own mother.
But she lives in another state, and the kids would never want to move.

My oldest sister Angela, lives here, and would also take the kids as would her DH, but the drinking issue comes into play there.

This is a question we have struggled with too! Someone will come forward if the worst happens, just gotta have faith.

~MJ

[ChristyR]

sure bring them on over i will take em' :) my SIL made up a letter stating that i would get her kiddos shall something happen to her and if HER parents are unable to take them. she does not want her inlaws to get them she has made that clear :)

[toao]

Funny you should mention this subject Erin. Just 2 days ago my best friend emailed me and said she needed to talk to me about something important. When I called her, she asked if Billy and I would be willing to raise her children if she and her husband died. She told me not to answer right away, but to talk about it and pray about it. She said her 16 YO DD said we would be the one place she would want to go if something happened. She also has another DD that is 7. Isn't that the sweetest? I totally understand where you are coming from when it comes to choosing someone who is stable and has the same beliefs. Truth is, I was just thinking of asking her the same question when it comes to Tori. It's hard when there is plenty of family, but not someone that would have every best interest in heart for your child. Good luck with this Erin.

Mary

[My3Ds]

Erin - I'll take the boys - what's two more. They would have three older brothers to chase. It's a very tough decision. We always seem to agree on one person but not their spouse. Right now it's my mom even though she is 67. I'm like you - we've agreed not to die. :confused:

[tesschap]

This is such a tough decison. When our boys were little we chose those who we thought would give them the most love - my mom was the first person and their godfather (my cousin and dh's best friend) was our second choice. Even though we were concerned with my mom or their godfather being a little older we knew they would be best able to make decisions on behalf of our boys and not for monetary reasons. We have a large family and I know other family members would have stepped in to assist them and ease their burden if needed. Maybe if you speak with those you'd like to raise them should something happen and explain your thoughts they will see things differently and agree. I'm sure none of them would want to see your boys become wards of the state and raised in foster care - and explained to them properly I think they will change their minds. It is important that you and your husband have a plan in writing - just in case. We drafted our will back in 1987 before we made a trip to Ireland. Good luck - this is something you really need to do so I hope you proceed.

[lisaguyon]

Of course I would take them and they would have 5 big brothers to boot. This is a tough situation. If both DH and I should die before all the boys reach 18 ( there's only 2 below 18) our oldest DS who is 24 would raise ours with my parents overseeing the finances for them. But it is a hard decision no matter what. Lisa

[Scrap This!]

Oh, Erin this is a tough decision. Do you have any friends or another couple in your ward that would be willing to add to more in case anything were to happen to you? Do you or Brian have any cousins? I have listed my parents, I know they would be the best guardians my children. My second option was my sister which lately I have been seriously reconsidering. I too have just come to the conclusion I CANNOT DIE.

[MyRnAbS]

I'll take them! I always wanted boys, and I only have two girls. Let me give you a quick scenario. We have a lovely pool, and a game room, and many cool things for them to devulge themselves in. For later they can use the brand new bowflex that I bought but have never ever used, it just looks at me :shocked: And dh can take them fishing. Let me know so I can start their college fund. I will say that my dh likes a little bubbly as well ;) Not me, I'm good.

[directmailscrapper]

Wait -- for a minute I thought I wrote that post!

My DH and I are OLD -- as parents of a 10-year old, at least. We are both 50. We have NEVER been able to answer that question and so we havent' done anything about it! Is that STUPID or what?

I have a very religious, upstanding sister who is twice divorced and suffers from depression. On the plus side -- she has raised two of the most wonderful children I know.

I have a totally non-religious sister who is pretty happily married, a great mom, probably my very best friend in the whole world, but not as financially stable as I'd like. (not talking wealthy here, talking about financially RESPONSIBLE -- like living within your means - -no matter what your means might be). Also, she lives out of state.

My Mom seemed like a great choice when DD was a baby -- and that's what we were going to do -- but my Mom is now almost 75. How can you assign a 75-year old to raise a 10-year old?

My DH's family is great -- but not an option. The one brother that would be possible now has an empty nest. I'm sure they'd take her if necessary, but boy, not a logical choice.

Erin, I'm not Mormon, but I'd be a great Mom! You aren't Methodist, but I'm sure my DD would do great with you! Wanna swap???

[suzi_f]

Erin, I'd take your kids but, I'm a pagan so, I guess that won't help on the religious front. I dont' drink tho. But, your kids would have to move to IL 'cause I can't do palmetto bugs or whatever those giant cockroach kinda bugs are. Uck!!!

I've never thought about who to leave MY kids to??? Does that make me an awful parent??? DH's bro & sis are almost as old as my parents. Plus, his sis & bil are in other countries for work all the time. I guess maybe his niece's or nephew's might be a better choice but, we see them maybe once a year & I doubt they would be willing to raise our kids. I have 3 bros & all of them are finally married off now. Bro #3 has 4 kids of his own so I doubt he would want 2 more (although, he did say he wanted more kids & my sil put her foot down after the twins were born.) Bro #2 has only 3 kids but I would not leave my kids w/that SIL FOR ANYTHING!!!! Bro #1 just got married & since he & his wife are in thier mid 40s, I doubt they will have any kids of thier own (bro doesn't really want any & I would like to hope he's discussed this w/the new sil!!!) but doubtful they would want ours. My parents are OUT 'cause my mom is psycho (I mean that in the nicest way) and his mom is already in her 80s so probably not a good choice.

I guess I'm w/the rest of you and can not die!! Hmm, in another year, bro #2s dd will be 18, maybe SHE can take them???

[Erin K]

It's frustrating, because I ASKED these people and they flat out told me NO. Who tells you no? marcia is only 55! GIVE ME A BREAK.

Honestly I'm pissed off in general at her, but this takes the cake.

Do they understand that if I have to choose someone else besides one of them they likely will not see the boys again? I was shocked that they all didn't jump up and say, "I want them! They are our grandchildren, of course we want them." My mom did say she wants them though and would fight anyone else for them unless I clearly laid it out. So I guess mom wins by default. She does refuse to take them to church or teach them about God though. Maybe I can live untill they are teenagers? Then they will be better equiped to carry thier beliefs without us.

ERRRRRRRRRRR

[MyRnAbS]

OMG!! didn't read that part where it said about religion. Okay well I'm a catholic, and if you want just gives us a list of preferred religions, and what is the proper etiqutte in your book. I don't mind kneeling your kids at home, and making them recite that rosary, but I can also take them to church every single sunday. I'm not saying that I'll go, but I'll drop them off :shocked: Okay I'm kidding, if I have to I'll make Mary Jayne take them ;)

[MyRnAbS]

Okay Erin on a serious note, I'm going to keep you in my prayers that you never ever have to use this decision! I hope that when we all pass our kids are grown-ups with their own wives/husbands. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? I hope so. I don't like to think of those things because for me to loose my father was extremely painful, and I was a grown woman with my own children. I can't believe they told you no!! How mean!! Just pray for guidance, and God will lead the way, and open the doors to your questions. I'm leaving mine with my little sister. She's 31 and very stable, a little strict, but I trust her. And if something was to happen to her, GOD FORBID, I'd kill anyone that got in my way to care for her little ones!!! I love my little sista and her dd, and soon ds. Erin good luck with this situation, I know everything will be fine.

[GrammaStamper]

Erin, I can understand your frustration. Making arrangements for our children, should we be unable to care for them through either illness or death, is one of a parents' greatest responsibilities. I have four children and now that two of them have children of their own, both have wills stipulating that the oldest daughter is to be their guardian. Outside of me and the other sets of grandparents, Tiffany is the logical choice because she is well aware that we, as grandparents, want to have contact with the children, she is financially responsible, albeit not married, but is more than capable of raising children and giving them love and direction in all things. I hope you can sort this out ASAP. Having a will when you have kids and a home is an absolute necessity.

[mjbonoan]

I'll take them in a heartbeat... I have none, and can't have any! I'm Catholic and a church goer, I don't drink and dh doesn't drink much. We're stable... I'm 43, he's 52.

[JBgreendawn]

well that is pretty much the plan here too...
We've decided we will not die while he's growing up
period.

Do either of you have sibilings?
( my dh has 4 but... and i have one but...)

[Christie]

Oh Erin I'm sure this is tough on you. Don't you have any close friends your age that would take them? We have a godson that if anything happens to his parents that we will take and raise, I'd be happy to add your two to the list. That way my godson will have some brothers! I think you should just pray on this and God will give you the answer you are looking for.

[tojoco]

Erin, I have the perfect solution for you. I worry about when DH and I are gone. Corey will be alone in this whole wide world. He has no siblings and we've lived so long and so far from his cousins that he hardly knows them. Now you know that Corey wants to go to Embry-Riddle in Daytona Beach and Tom and I plan on retiring to The Villages in Florida. So, Tom and I will definitely take your boys since we're use to having a boy and raise them as Corey's brothers. Then when we are gone, Corey should be old enough with a great job to help raise his two younger brothers and they will still be living in Florida. Then I will also be at ease knowing Corey will still have family with him. We are Roman Catholic, go to church, do not smoke, drink or cuss. (We are actually quite boring!) We know some about the Mormon religion as our neighbors are Mormons and their 4 boys have gone on mission work and they are now raising 2 little adopted girls.

Whatcha think?

[Erin K]

Whoever takes the boys and promises to bring them to church (yours if they are very young, ours if they are older) gets all my stamps too! heehee

I think it will be ok, we will figure it out, just being told no shocked me ya know? WHO SAYS NO????

I'll take anyone's kids. :)

[BeckyButtshaw]

Stinkers! I agree-who says no? What about Brian's brother? I know he's still young....it is tough. Which reminds me, we need to do this too.

[Erin K]

Stinkers! I agree-who says no? What about Brian's brother? I know he's still young....it is tough. Which reminds me, we need to do this too.

Potsmoking twit. I love him but I don't think he's ready to raise my kids yet.

[maxiesmom]

Erin, I have the perfect solution for you. I worry about when DH and I are gone. Corey will be alone in this whole wide world. He has no siblings and we've lived so long and so far from his cousins that he hardly knows them. Now you know that Corey wants to go to Embry-Riddle in Daytona Beach and Tom and I plan on retiring to The Villages in Florida. So, Tom and I will definitely take your boys since we're use to having a boy and raise them as Corey's brothers. Then when we are gone, Corey should be old enough with a great job to help raise his two younger brothers and they will still be living in Florida. Then I will also be at ease knowing Corey will still have family with him. We are Roman Catholic, go to church, do not smoke, drink or cuss. (We are actually quite boring!) We know some about the Mormon religion as our neighbors are Mormons and their 4 boys have gone on mission work and they are now raising 2 little adopted girls.

Whatcha think?

This is SO sweet! I am tearing up reading this. I think Joann gets the boys.

[workin4stamps]

I vote for Joanne too!! hehe!!

Traci