View Full Version : please pray l'm so down update

07-16-2007, 10:27 AM
my hb dad is still in the hosp. with cancer, this past weekend was so hard he had to have a catheter put in and he spent most of the weekend crying. he wants to go home but he is to sick. you helped me by telling me about the hospis and i checked that out, there is none close to were he lives. he has no doc. so they are throwing him back and forth frome one doc. to another.
On Sunday when he started to cry he kicked us out l talked to the nurse about his depression and his fear of old age homes she looked at me like why tell me, l asked her to give him something for his depression she said she could not and the doc. would be in to see him on Mon or Tue boy it's so hard to watch l feel helpless and sick my hb he cannot face it he just walked out, the hosp. say they are there to help all the family in these last days. ya right l have to fight just to get an answer about how he is doing. all they say is he's fine when we see he is not, my hb has only seen his dad cry one other time when his mom died.l told the nurse this and she said well l can give him a pain pill ( l wanted to yell or hit her and that is not my style) so we left and they are setting up a family meeting and plan told us they are putting his name in for an old age home weather he liked it or not.sorry for going on and on but l had to tell someone. Cathy:arghh:

07-16-2007, 10:41 AM
my heart goes out to and your family.
I wish there was some way I could help.
Maybe some of these other ladies will have some helpful information for you. Hugs

07-16-2007, 11:04 AM
What a hard weekend you have had. My prayers go out to you and your family, specifically for someone who will address your need with hospice at this time. God Bless.


07-16-2007, 11:10 AM
While I'm sure it is true that the nurse could not perscribe medicine on her own, it is too bad she could not have been more compassionate and offered the services of a social worker, chaplain or something to help him through the weekend. I wish you the best!

07-16-2007, 11:22 AM
I know that nurses are often overworked, but this one should have called in "uncaring."
I'm not trying to be funny...just hoping that you find a doctor and/or someone who can help you through this along with your FIL.
We lost my DH's Mom about a year and a half ago, and that was hard to watch too. Then, DH's Step-Dad had a bad accident with a riding lawnmower that flipped onto him in a ditch...no visible injuries, but broken ribs. He simply gave up and passed away the next day. So sad.
My heart goes out to you and all of your family.

07-16-2007, 02:28 PM
Make sure you are there when the doctor is there. Or call the doctor. Don't depend on the nurses...they can't do anything without the doctor giving the o.k.

07-16-2007, 03:11 PM
I would try to be there so you can discuss all of this with the dr. I went through cancer with both of my parents. Possibly try calling a hospice and explain the situation...maybe they can give you some sage advice. I am so sorry you are all going through this...we are here for you.

07-16-2007, 04:03 PM
Oh Cathy Im so sorry to hear you are going through it so bad...Have you tried to call the aging and adult services dept in your area...its thier job to advocate for him...if your not getting anywhere with the hospital I suggest you keep being firm and fight for his rights...just a couple of suggestions...till then heres a big hug from me (((((((((stay strong)))))))))...


07-16-2007, 06:30 PM
Cathy, I am so very sorry to hear how much your dad is suffering, and you along with him. Please know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I hope that he will soon find comfort and care; and his suffering will be eased. Please don't ever feel bad for coming on the Shack and sharing. If you need to just release frustration and share how much you're hurting, we are all here for you.

07-17-2007, 12:18 AM
I'm so sad to read this Cathy. Can you ask your hospital if they employ "patient advocates?" Also, is there one physician who's appointed as his primary care physician? If so, ask for a meeting with him! Also, if he wants so badly to go home (which I sure can understand!), are palliative care services available in his community? The hospital social worker should know what services there are available. It would be really good for you to meet with the social worker anyway; they're generally the most knowledgable about discharge planning especially, and it soulds like YOU need some support too!


07-17-2007, 12:21 AM
i'm sorry you have to go through this. please see about a patient advocate.

07-17-2007, 09:11 PM
My heart goes out to you and your family. I know it's hard, but try to be strong with the doctors and nurses about his care and status--you know about the squeaky wheel. You are in my prayers--if he does go home, maybe you can get in touch with visiting nurses or even hospice--they are absolutely wonderful. God Bless.


07-17-2007, 10:05 PM

(((((big cyber hugs)))))) to you. I am sorry about dh's dad. My sister works in the Cancer Agency in Vancouver. I do recommend being present when the gp is in - that way you'll know exactly how he is doing.

If it helps, try doing some research to help you understand.

The other thing you can try is speak with your pastor or the hospital's pastor. The very least - you'll have someone's shoulder to cry on and it will make you feel better when you spill your heart out.

I am very sorry to hear about dh's dad. I am sending warm wishes and prayers your way.

You are doing a wonderful job by just being there! Take care!

07-17-2007, 10:37 PM
Cathy, I am so sorry to hear your about your FIL, my prayers are with you and him and the entire family at this time. Stay strong for your dh and your FIL, you are doing a great job. hugs and prayers coming your way :)