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View Full Version : Do you know that I have not cried once since my grandma passed away?



iloveflipflops
01-31-2008, 05:52 AM
Why am I "not" crying? I just don't get it. My sister has been crying nonstop, my mom was of course crying when she told me ... I have not.

I am wondering if its because I am at total peace with it. She has had dementia for 6 years and just got so bad over the years that she wasn't even "like my grandma" I remembered. Its so sad. I do not want to get dementia or alzheimers. It is just awful.

I'm sure I will cry like a baby at the funeral. Not many people will be there as alot of her friends had passed already. It will be a very small turn out and just a graveside ceremony so the whole thing will last only about 15 minutes I would imagine.

Amy is cutting her stay short by a day and flying back tomorrow am so I will drop her off at the airport and then drive down by myself. I have done it before, its no biggie. Its 10 hours.

I will be busy today packing, getting things ready to go. I'm taking DH's i-phone so hopefully I can get online while i am down there. I need to get a quick lesson how to use the thing. lol

loobylou
01-31-2008, 06:42 AM
Sherri,
Everyone grieves differently. I know I didn't cry when my grandfather passed away, but I hadn't seen him for quite a few years, and it didn't seem real.
How ever you deal with it is O.K.
You are in my thoughts. Take care and drive safely

emmcee
01-31-2008, 06:43 AM
It's all right not to cry. You'll be OK.

My3Ds
01-31-2008, 07:09 AM
I think right now you are kind of removed from whats happening. Like you said, once you get there it may be different. It's okay not to cry. Grieving is individual. Sure wish we could be there for you. ((((( )))))

ccstampin12
01-31-2008, 07:10 AM
Sherri,
Everyone "does" a loss in different ways. You have probably thought that you already said, "goodbye" before she got so bad.
I hope you have safe travels. HUGS to you and your family.
Joanie

tesschap
01-31-2008, 07:30 AM
Oh Sherri - it's ok that you aren't crying. I didn't cry when my Grandma or my sister passed away - until the funeral. I was able to get my emotions out on my own time I guess. We all mourn differently so there's no right or wrong way. If you mom and sister are so emotional right now you are probably holding it it to be the 'rock' so to speak. That's me in our family!

Have a safe drive - you are in my thoughts and I'm sending you a big HUG.

tojoco
01-31-2008, 07:49 AM
Sherri, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please drive safely.

GrammaStamper
01-31-2008, 08:01 AM
Sherri, not to worry. People with great faith understand that death is not an ending, but a beginning of a new life everlasting. And in that life, we are as we once were, complete and whole, without pain or suffering. I'm sure when you say your final goodbye you will cry, but for now, knowing your Grandma is at peace is a huge source of comfort. God Bless.

teabear
01-31-2008, 08:49 AM
I only shed just a few tears some time after my grandma died just before Christmas. She hadn't known us for a very long time. I felt as though I lost her long before she actually passed. I think the grieving was nearly over by the time she died. Give yourself permission to deal with it any way you need to. Tears may or may not come and that's completely ok.

workin4stamps
01-31-2008, 08:56 AM
Sherri, I was exactly the same way when my Grandma died 3 years ago. She found out she had cancer on December 26th, then she died on (Friday) February 13th. We had so little time to prepare, but my grandma made me so at peace with it. I think there are sometimes reasons why we are just at peace with different things. In my case it was because my Grandma told me that she wasn't afraid to die, she knew where she was going, and she was ready. In your case, like you said, it's probably because you've known that she was sick for so long, and of course that's been hard on her.

Of course I cried at the funeral, and you probably will too. Sometimes we just grieve differently than we think we should, but there is no right or wrong way.

Please drive safely, and I'll be thinking of you!

Traci

iloveflipflops
01-31-2008, 09:31 AM
Thanks guys!! You are the best!!

cecescraps
01-31-2008, 09:37 AM
I can't add anything to all the wonderful words that have been written here but, I just wanted you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days. Have a safe trip.

ChristyR
01-31-2008, 09:59 AM
oh Sherri it is ok if you don't cry everyone deals with grief in there own way, sending you huggs and prayers and safe travling mercies on your drive to FL

Good Luck in the days ahead :)

Kreative Dryve
01-31-2008, 10:10 AM
Sherri, so sorry for your loss. please know that I will be sending you wishes for a safe trip.
~Marie

Robinkay
01-31-2008, 10:50 AM
Sherri, It's okay not to cry. I am sure when you get there and are with your mom and sis you will start to get emotional. Just know that we are all thinking of you and your family. (((Sherri)))

logcabincreations
01-31-2008, 12:05 PM
I think it's perfectly fine not to cry, especially when you know a loved one has been ill and it's a relief God takes them home. I tend to cry when I see other people crying because I am sad for them....not sad for the individual who has passed.

:wubclub:Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers over the next several days.

scrapsoon
01-31-2008, 12:31 PM
Indeed every one grieves different and everyone is handling the emotionel feelings and hurts also different.
Maybe your mind says not to cry now cause you have to plan al kind of things for the funeral.
And when it's all over your mind says oke now you can cry.
Eventhough my hart is with you and you will be in my mind.
Take care and i wish you a lot of strength for the funeral.

ellie
01-31-2008, 01:42 PM
This is so sad Sherri. Rich's dad had alzheimer's and it was difficult to watch. Please be careful on your long drive...keep those doors locked. Check in when you get a chance.

JBgreendawn
01-31-2008, 05:33 PM
you know,
I hope you drive safely Sherri,
( and the tears can wait till your ready)

{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}

mydogstinks2
02-01-2008, 05:47 AM
Sherri Was the same way when my Grandama passed. I was in Oregon so i could not come back for a funeral. She had been ill for a few weeks and just a few days before she passed she found out she had cancer. I cried then so I guess when she did go we kinda knew it was coming. She also died 5 years later on the exact same day my Grandpa had passed. We all say she knew what she was doing and that was how she wanted it.

Please drive safe!

threefriends91
02-01-2008, 09:19 AM
Oh Sherri, we all deal with death differently.. it's okay not to cry..If someone you love has been sick for sometime it offten gives us peace, just knowing their going to a better place..l think we start to morn the death when they get sick, l know l did with my late HB..My prayers are with you.