Do You Know CPR? Do You Have a Will?

[mahodgman]

Let's just call this a public service announcement prompted by a terrible tragedy in my neighborhood. Two nights ago the man next door, 43 years old, collapsed with a heart attack. His live-in girlfriend (of at least the 9 years they have lived next door to me) panicked and didn't know what to do. She did call 9-1-1, but she didn't know CPR, and the paramedics worked on him for 3 hours. Unfortunatley, he did not survive. He did not have a will, and all the financial stuff appears to be in his name only since they were not legally married. They lived as if they were married, and they even told my DH and I at one point that they were married. Washington is not a common law state, and this woman is screwed I think. I don't know the intimate details of thier lives, and they are none of my business anyway, but I feel so bad for this woman. I talked to her yesterday, and she is beside herself with grief and worry and blame. We will never know if he would have survived had she known CPR, but it is a good skill for us all to have.

I don't have a will, but it has suddenly escalated to the top of my priority list! I am 43 years old, and I know death is not something I think of often until it is right in my face! Please everyone, learn CPR....you could save a life!

[IMBlessed5]

What a tragedy. And yeah she will probably get the short end of the stick (that's what ya get for living together, not getting married. THAT is MY public service announcement LOL!)

Anyway, I did take an infant CPR class and got certified, but to be honest with you - I don't remember much. And I've seen adult CPR demonstrated so many times, but I still don't remember the details. Thankfully, it's one of those things I've never had to use. Even if you learn it, you need a refresher course every year.

[mahodgman]

What a tragedy. And yeah she will probably get the short end of the stick (that's what ya get for living together, not getting married. THAT is MY public service announcement LOL!)

Anyway, I did take an infant CPR class and got certified, but to be honest with you - I don't remember much. And I've seen adult CPR demonstrated so many times, but I still don't remember the details. Thankfully, it's one of those things I've never had to use. Even if you learn it, you need a refresher course every year.

I absolutely agree with your public service announcement too! And yes, you do need to keep up with CPR training regularly after you have learned it once. Most Fire Depts offer free classes to the public all over the country!

[Vintagegal]

Yes and No. I know how to do CPR (new rules: 30 compressions to two breaths); but I need to update my will. Thanks for the reminder, Mary.

[My3Ds]

Have a will. Haven't had CPR classes since high school. I'd like to say that it has only been 5 years, but it's going on 25. Yikes.

[Nancy]

I know CPR but this happened to a friend of mine many years ago and I learned the lesson and I know there are gals on here who live with boyfriends and it scares me. CPR is important, but just living like your married doesn't cover you at all. He may have children and relatives and they will all be there.I do feel sorry for her in the long run. Family may have accepted her, but they won't now. - Nancy

[mydogstinks2]

I do know CPR but we don't have a will.

[workin4stamps]

I do know CPR and I do have a will! DH and I had ours done a year or two ago, along with our power of attorneys for each other.

I probably need to refresh myself on CPR though!

:-)
Traci

[stampinmom3]

Both DH and I used to be EMT's so we know CPR and after having children we had a will done. Both are very important and thank you for the reminder for those who are not prepared.

[MerryMimi]

CPR procedure has changed alot recently. We are required to be certified each year at work. Please look into an updated course as these changes have saved more lives than before and need to be learned. What a tradgedy at such a young age, my prayers go out to your neighbor as she faces all these changes in life.

[ellie]

Did you all know that if you have children and Don't have a will, the court decides who can have them??? Also, it is really not very expensive...we all probably spend at least that on stamps every month. I think there is even an online version.
I don't know CPR but have thought about it many times...I really should get on the stick and do something about it. We went to a wedding once and a man collapsed. It was an awful feeling to just sit there and hear the band announce the need for someone to help.

[shuggy]

new rules for cpr...push hard, push fast. they stress that a lot.

i don't have a will. and i'm one of those living together not married. i do know cpr, though.

[loobylou]

When we were planning to have our swimming pool put in I insisted that we learn CPR. I did a senior first aid course, which I do need to do the refresher for this year. I think that they are trying to make it law that the owners of swimming pools learn CPR

[Swanie78]

Wow, detail by detail this is almost exactly my same experience.
Except Wade was 37, his mom was there when he passed out (I was at work), we couldn't find the will she said he had, and since I'd only lived with him for 13 months we hadn't gotten to the point of putting me on anything but his bank account. So everything went to his mother and she decided what happened. We also planned on marrying, we were just waiting for him to have a transplant.
My heart goes out to this poor woman. The only way she'll receive anything is if she is literally his only "relative", or if his beneficiary is very nice to her.
Based on my experience, I tell ANYONE that moves in with someone to have these things legally prepared. And once I get to IL I plan on talking to my brother's girlfriend about doing the same since they are living together, and now especially with a baby together. My family would never turn their back on the baby, should something happen to my brother, but I dont want Morgan (the gf) to ever feel as helpless as I did.

[Swanie78]

Oh, and to answer the question....yes I know CPR. Have to ;) But I honestly don't know how someone could not at least ATTEMPT to do it. You can get the just of it even by watching TV. And unless I was born to be in the medical field, it's just been sort of instinct. Even if you don't do the correct number of compressions to breaths, something is something and may still save that life!
But I dont have a will. The only thing of value I have is my car (which I probably owe more than its worth on because of the mileage) and all my stamp stuff (which my mom and aunt would probably go thru and sell the rest). I don't even want to think about my cat. I hope he's gone by that time. Because I think he'd become a shelter cat. Unless my dad paid to ship him back to IL.

[scrapsoon]

CPR i didn't learned for it,but i know how to do it.
My will had been made when my daughter was born.
And only because of my daughter i have made a will.
Cause when she is not yet 23 my parents have the euh..saying of here and of here finance if something happens to me.
I could choose between 18,21 or 23 and i decided to go for 23 eventhough she would be a grow up.
I also had to do this cause of my ex that IF he want's to have my daughter when she was a baby he had to go not only thrue me but also thrue my parents cause they have saying of her too.
We calles it "voogd"and "voogdij"i don't know how to call it in English.

[Nadine]

I had my will written as soon as I purchased my condo, at 27. It's important to have all that stuff taken care of. Now that it's done I won't have to do it again unless I go through some major life change.

I used to know CPR but hadn't updated it so it's pretty much obsolete now. I have been meaning to take a course again though.

[Kreative Dryve]

I feel for the neighbor, been on the line as a dispatcher trying to explain CPR, and in the field doing CPR. This is one of the most important things you can take, not only for your family, but for a stranger.
I always carry a pocket mask with me (Sorry, I don't do mouth to mouth):goofy:
And I always have a heavily stocked medical kit with me. It feels weird when I don't have it with me, kind of like my lifeline.

I really need a will, and thanks for reminding me to work on that one.

Hey Angie, it's okay to live with someone and not be married, I did it for 6 months before I married Shaun, and now it's been 18 years of wedded bliss.
There is nothing wrong with living with the one you love! :D

~Marie

[mahodgman]

Update: I just got home from taking some pizzas next door. She has a housefull of his relatives right now. They all seem to be loving people, and so I feel better about all of this for her. They are packing up the house because she has been told the bank will probably come and padlock the place soon. I really don't know how all of that works, but it seems pretty drastic to me! She mentioned that she is the beneficiary on his life insurance and retirement at work, so that is good. I'm happy to report that she seems to have a lot of love and support going on right now, and I hope that continues. You hear so many stories of families fighting over things when someone dies. That makes me really sad!

[MidwestStamper]

Both my DH and I recently took a CPR course at my church, where I work. We had an AED machine installed, so they felt that everyone that works there or volunteers regularly should know how to work it, plus know CPR.

We do not have a will, but realize the importance of it. My Dad died in January and he did not have a will, so some of the financial stuff has been tougher for my Mom than it would be if he'd had a will. She does have a will already.

[cindi]

I'm a live with , not married girl in a state that does not recognise common law marriage. Df''s family are a bunch of money hungry vultures..honestly..I've never seen anything like it!
He keeps meaning to make a will..and never seems to get to it, not that he is mean..just that he never thinks anything will happen to him.. we have filed domestic partnership papers, which Maine does recognise..I'm not sure what this will help me with. I think I need to talj to him again..now CPR is another whole thing. I agree I should look into this as well.
thanks for the public service measage
:)

[scrappinnuts]

I have to have CPR for my job and DH is a Firefighter Paramedic...as for the will we have one....I feel for your neighbor... I know how is was when my Mom passed away and they had no will...my brother thought everything belonged to him.

[threefriends91]

l had taken a CPR class but that was about 5 years ago now and l have forgotten most of it..your right we need to get ours updated..l don't think my HB has every taken one..thanks for the reminder this is something we can do together..
My Prayers go out to this poor lady..its to bad they didn't get married..l Pray others will learn from this..

[logcabincreations]

Important thread you started Mary - thank you. I "used to be" certfied in CPR...need to do it again.

My father-in-law had only one brother and they have a fairly big cattle farm. His brother married later in his life in his 60's to a lady we loved and thought the world of until.......he died in 1997 and an evil split personality erupted from her. We went to her home after the funeral to eat lunch and she started giving away his things to the family like his clothes, cowboy boots and hats (which I'm glad she did) but I thought it was a little strange at the time and too soon for her to do this. Within 2 days of his death she went to an attorney and she sent an appraiser to the farm. Talk about greed! Clarence had a Will, and he never updated it after he got married. He left everything to my father-in-law. The Will disappeared....but about 8 months later re-surfaced when, I guess, her guilt of hiding it finally made her turn it over. Her 2 grown daughters from her previous marriage were like two evil step-sisters. My father-in-law went through a stressful, terrible time....calling his sil asking why she was doing this, and then his sil had her attorney call my fil and tell him not to call her anymore. My fil had to get an attorney and fight this woman. But, she never got any of the farm - thank God! She and Clarence never had children together, and Clarence's Will gave his share of the farm to his brother.

So my dh and I had a Will and Power of Attorney done for ourselves while all of that was going on because our children were very young. We do need to update it though.

[alh]

Mary, that happen to our neighbor and his girlfriend took his family to court and she got to stay in the house rent free and she got everything in the house. So tell her there is hope.

Anita

[Erin K]

I do know CPR.

I do not have a will. we tried to do one, we asked all family if anyone could take the boys NO ONE will. We were so freaked out by that, that we halted the process. They all love them, but no one wants to be on the will for them. It pisses me off if you must know. I mean sure, no one WANTS to raise kids again, but if BOTH Brian and I are dead I dang well expect my family to be HAPPY to be there for my boys.

So, no, no will, but everything goes to the kids, and I think that's the default anyhow, we don't have any debts or anything. We do have living wills. I need to update mine. Now that I'm a mom I feel a little different about some things.

[Erin K]

ps if we do die and my kids end up in foster care I will haunt my whole family forever.

[IMBlessed5]

Wow Erin, I'm almost afraid to start asking around to see who would take our kids. I would HATE to hear what you did!!! And I would expect the same thing that you do!

[scrapsoon]

Ohw wow it's a chock for me to hear that no one wants to go on the will for your childeren.
My brother did not asked me for their kids,but if they would asked it i surely would do it eventhough i would be on my own for them,think thats why they didn't asked me.
But i also see it as a honor that someone is asking to take care of someones kids when something happens.

[tesschap]

Gary and I did our wills back in 1987 before I'd get on a plane for Ireland and leave my boys home! We do need to update them now that the boys are adults. I took a CPR certificiation class back in the mid 1980's and never gave it another thought until I read your post. Thanks for the reminder on both.

I feel bad for your neighbor. I will keep her in my prayers.

[logcabincreations]

I do know CPR.

I do not have a will. we tried to do one, we asked all family if anyone could take the boys NO ONE will. We were so freaked out by that, that we halted the process. They all love them, but no one wants to be on the will for them. It pisses me off if you must know. I mean sure, no one WANTS to raise kids again, but if BOTH Brian and I are dead I dang well expect my family to be HAPPY to be there for my boys.

So, no, no will, but everything goes to the kids, and I think that's the default anyhow, we don't have any debts or anything. We do have living wills. I need to update mine. Now that I'm a mom I feel a little different about some things.

Erin, I'm flabbergasted :shocked: Do you have close friends you could ask? My best friend Cheryl and her hubby will take care of my Jordan (12) if something happens to us. My oldest son is 19 but going into the Marines and my middle son is 18 and it would be too much responsibility at his age to have him be Jordan's caretaker. Now, when Jordan gets a little older he might want to stay with his big brother.

Both your side and Brian's side of the family said no? That's awful.