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View Full Version : Someone cussed me out while I was doing something nice for them



Vintagegal
03-27-2008, 04:53 PM
I had gone out for coffee this afternoon, at this one place that doesn't have a 'dedicated lane' for the drive thru. You just drive around the building and up to the drive-thru window.

Well, there was a man who was loading up soil or fertilizer bags into his truck. He was on the side of the building where the drive thru window was. The coffee place shares a parking lot with ACE Hardware and Garden store. They keep their pallets of soil and fertilizer in the front parking lot.

When I pulled around that side of the building, I saw that I had pulled around too wide, and I was blocking him. So, if he wanted to get going, he wouldn't be able to.

He gets into his truck. And, as I start to back up my van so I could pull up closer to the side of the building (thus making more room for his truck to pull forward and get going), he lays down on his horn. Like for five seconds, he's got his fist down on the horn. He thought I was going to hit his truck, I guess. OK..... duh. No. I was NOWHERE close to backing into his truck. I mean, c'mon. Don't you think that if I had NO difficulties getting around the building, I should be able to just back my car in the same direction from where I just came?

The driver in front of me, sitting, waiting for his coffee, was watching the whole thing in his rearview.

I still needed to back up just a few feet so I could turn my wheel and pull up closer to the building (thus, making enough room for the driver to drive through and be on his merry way). Again, the driver lays down on his horn.

After I pull up close to the side of the building, he pulls up next to me and starts cussing me out for like a full 15-seconds, telling me that I'm a f****** Californian who needs to learn to drive, and that I was a f****** b***** and which f****** DMV in their right mind gave a g*** (a really racist word) a driver's license. Get your f****** head out of your a** and learn to drive. And he went on and on and on.

The gentleman in the car in front of me is still watching the whole thing.

The angry man drives away. I'm almost in tears. OMG. Here I was thinking I was being courteous; and I didn't even think twice about being courteous to him. I just did it because I thought it was the right thing to do.

So, I finally pulled up to the drive-thru window. The barista heard the angry man, when he was going off on his tirade, and he asked me if I was OK. The man who was in front of me, watching the whole thing, pulled over and parked his car. Then, he walked up to me at the drive thru window and asked me if I was OK. Then, he apologized on behalf of all Nebraskans (I live in Nebraska. Our car has California tags). He said that not all Nebraskans are jerks like that idiot, and I should ignore him. I was so shaken and just in complete disbelief.

I'm still upset about it now. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but be upset. Remember how a few weeks ago, we were talking about being more aware of others and helping others and doing random acts of kindness when the opportunity presents itself. In today's instance, I was cussed out. It just really upsets me.

If I didn't back up and give him room to drive his truck through, he would've been stuck there until I got done with my coffee order. What would you rather someone do? Make room for you, or make you wait? I'm just so upset. I needed to get this off my chest. Sorry this is so long.

Christie
03-27-2008, 05:03 PM
What a jerk! If I had been with you I would of told him off right back! Don't let him ruin your day or your good deed. You know what you were doing was the right thing and it doesn't matter what he thinks! Here's a big hug for you too (((((HUG)))))

kimmyqtgirl
03-27-2008, 05:03 PM
Awe I am so sorry you got yelled at! Some people just don't think about other's at all. Just remember what goes around comes around. Hope the rest of your day goes better.
HUGS

logcabincreations
03-27-2008, 05:07 PM
Oh Ethel, we love you and just know in your heart you did the right thing. It's obvious from the way that man reacted that his reward for that nasty behavior will come soon enough!!

That was kind of the other driver and the employee to check on you--two people trying to make up for one person's lack of civility.

p.s. I'll get out my voodoo doll when I get home and stick a pin in it (lol....just kidding....I don't even have one of these but if I did I'd stick a pin or nail or something in it shouting...."this is for the ____ who upset our Ethel.")

Artyfarty
03-27-2008, 05:14 PM
Ethel how awfull.....there are sorry to say this some pretty mean g-ts out there in this small world. You did nothing wrong and to have thsi tirade of abusive is totally beyond belief. Thank heavens for the 2 considerate watchers who saw all this happen who came up and showed their support. I too hope this has not shook you up too much and i strectch my arms over the waters to give you a massive big HUG....
Sue xx

JBgreendawn
03-27-2008, 05:58 PM
whew,
here's a ((( HUG )))

what a bleep bleep...
stupid/mean people suck.

Erin K
03-27-2008, 06:00 PM
I have several comments

1. That guy is a total jerk, what is wrong with people?

2. I don't know a racial slur that starts with a "G"

3. Kudos for the guy in front coming back to check on you. At first I thought "he should have stepped in right away" but you know what? with a jerk like that first guy that could have lead to fisticuffs and that wouldn't have been good at all.

4. you totally were doing the right thing. Doing the right thing isn't always appreciated, but I hope you are still glad you did it. You can rest easy tonight ya know.

HUGS! I had a similar thing recently and I was shook up for hours. This lady was so mean and followed me to my parking lot and all screaming and threw a cup at me and made my kids cry. When she made my kids cry I wanted to smash her face. I told the kids she was just kidding.

loobylou
03-27-2008, 06:22 PM
what a dreadful man! I'm sorry he upset you. Don't let it stop you doing the courteous thing in future.
(((Hugs)))

ccstampin12
03-27-2008, 06:34 PM
Ethel, poor baby.
There, there.....please think pleasant thoughts and try to forget this bozo!
I'm with Erin...don't know a racial word starting with "G"! LOL
Sheltered lives, I guess!
I remember a similar, but not as awful incident for me at a grocery check-out. There was an express lane and I had a lot more items in my cart. The kid wasn't busy and he told me to come through his line. So, there I was....my cart all unloaded and things being checked.....when Crab of the Century arrives. He actually COUNTED my items and informed me in a very mean voice that I had too many items and I was inconsiderate, and thoughtless, and anything else he could think of. He was all tense and I truly felt a need to put my cart between him and me. I really feared he might haul off and hit me. Then, along comes the "little woman." She was all quiet and meek and he was still going off on me and my awful ways, and she just looked at me with the saddest eyes. I just could never get her out of my thoughts....just think about LIVING with men like these! Wow!
It just makes me shudder.
You'll remember this, but try not to let it ruin the rest of your day.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
Joanie

Vintagegal
03-27-2008, 06:54 PM
Erin and Joanie, The racist word that starts with "g" was a slur that came out of the Vietnam era. It was what some of our own GI's would call Vietnamese people. I'm Filipino, but I took HUGE offense to this because it IS a racial slur. The man looked like he was in his 50's or 60's. Definitely someone who could very well have served during Vietnam.

You want to know what made this thing tens times worse?

The man had military tags on his front windshield. He is a military retiree.

This all just makes me so, so sad and upset. I hope he comes to realize tonight or tomorrow what a jerk he was to me.

TiikkiStars
03-27-2008, 07:05 PM
Ethel,

I'm so sorry that you had to have that experience!!! Some people in this world are just so miserable that they feel the need to spread the misery around. What he did was so uncalled for and really mean. I can imagine you would be really shaken up by what he said and how he said it and that it came as you were trying to do something nice. I'm glad there were two nice people who wanted to check on you are be a reminder that that guy was obviously one of the bad apples that can spoil the bunch, your day, your feelings, and your mood. I really hope that you are able to shake off what he did to you, as awful as it was. Some cyber {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

:> Karen

maxiesmom
03-27-2008, 07:35 PM
:realmad: Here's me giving that ignoramus a piece of my mind! I am so sorry you had to endure that, there is no excuse. I had a cranky elderly man in our office this afternoon, nothing like your man, thank goodness. I nonetheless thought to myself 'how does someone with this much anger in him make it through the day?' You could just feel the anger coming off him and he walked into our office that way and he was an add on from his dentist, he didn't even have a shceduled apt. with us and we accomodated him! :swoon:
I don't get people sometimes.

hugs
for you girlfriend!

My3Ds
03-27-2008, 08:08 PM
What an a$$. Ditto to what Erin (and everyone else) said. Phooey on him.

Firecracker
03-27-2008, 09:02 PM
I'm so sorry Ethel. It is to bad when people can be so rude when you were being so kind. I'm sending you a hug. Hugs, Heather

cindi
03-27-2008, 09:13 PM
maybe he is mentally unstable. not that it excuses his bad behavour, it doesn't.
I hope that venting here will help you to feel better. He dosn not deserve the power to make you feel bad.
here's some virtual flowers for you!
:):196:

Vintagegal
03-27-2008, 09:14 PM
Thank you, everybody. I knew you would understand. I got home, after I had to work another two hours following that horrible moment, and cried my eyes out. I wasn't going to go to work and cry there. So, I waited until I got home. Fortunately, my husband was home, and he comforted me, and let me cry it out. I feel a lot better. DH is going to go out and get me a Sonic blast to cheer me up, and I'm watching Celebrity Apprentice. I appreciate your words of support.

Vintagegal
03-27-2008, 09:18 PM
He dosn not deserve the power to make you feel bad.

Yes. You HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. Sometimes, when people act this way, I almost feel sorry for them. Did his wife just divorce him and cleaned his bank account out? I sure the heck couldn't stay married to someone like that. Did the bank just announce that they were going to foreclose on his house? Whatever it was that caused him to be so angry, it must be just so sad, sad to be like that on a daily basis. I can get angry. I know I have the ability to get angry at people, but I could never get *that* rude. ya know?

IMBlessed5
03-27-2008, 10:08 PM
Wow Ethel, what an awful experience! I know I would have yelled back, then been in shock later. It's good you didn't say anything - hard tellin what he would have done!

1of2shoes
03-27-2008, 10:20 PM
Ethel, you are a good person. He may have been having a bad day and he turned his anger on you. I haven't heard that G word in ages (thank god) and it just says something about the intelligence of a person when they have to use cuss words and slurs to express themselves. Sad, sad man. Please don't take this personally.

Swanie78
03-27-2008, 10:31 PM
Wow, nice guy huh?
I would have flipped him off...lol And then yelled....IM A FREAKIN AMERICAN YOU DIPSH*T!
But then Im not known for being all that mature about matters that tick me off either...lol
Im sorry he was rude to you. Just relish in the fact that you did the right thing. And it sounds like it wasnt YOU that he had the problem with, just that you were the first person he didnt know that he could light into. His turn will come around.

Tantalize
03-27-2008, 11:14 PM
Erin and Joanie, The racist word that starts with "g" was a slur that came out of the Vietnam era. It was what some of our own GI's would call Vietnamese people. I'm Filipino, but I took HUGE offense to this because it IS a racial slur. The man looked like he was in his 50's or 60's. Definitely someone who could very well have served during Vietnam.

You want to know what made this thing tens times worse?

The man had military tags on his front windshield. He is a military retiree.

This all just makes me so, so sad and upset. I hope he comes to realize tonight or tomorrow what a jerk he was to me.

WOW. This makes me ferociously upset/angry. I cannot believe the nerve of him. Thank god I've only heard this word used in movies because I am Vietnamese!!! Im so sorry that you had to hear/go through what you did today Ethel. It just goes to show that old habits and prejudices dont die as easily as I hope they do. But dont worry Ethel, Im sure that here at the Shack, everyone would love me even if I were purple. lol Trying to lighten things up here... Anyway Once again Im so sorry about your entire experience.

mydogstinks2
03-27-2008, 11:23 PM
I'm so sorry this happened.

Now here is what you do...
You need to call ACE hardware first thing in the am. demand to talk to the manager. Find out who made that delivery and then call his boss! NO ONE deserves to be talked to like that! NO ONE!!

He was at work so someone was paying him while he was doing this. I can't yell at people like that while I'm at work, you are a "rep" of where you work for.


and if you don't want to call, you tell me where you were and I'LL call!!

logcabincreations
03-27-2008, 11:23 PM
You want to know what made this thing tens times worse? The man had military tags on his front windshield. He is a military retiree.

That makes me even madder. Here your sweet husband is serving our country, and my son is a new Marine recruit. Using that nasty "g" word at you he probably did serve in Vietnam. I hope his conscience, if he has one, attacks him in his sleep tonight and makes him realize what a jerk, no jacka$$, he is. Actually, it's not fair to a donkey to compare the two.

threefriends91
03-28-2008, 03:10 AM
Oh Ethel l am so sorry you had to go through this, The guy has problems thats for sure and had no right taking his anger out on you, l am glad you talked to us about this it's not good to keep this in..just know that you were not wrong and you did try to help..and that makes you the better person..l'm so glad that there were other people who were concernd about you at the time..
He was a jerk and had hurt you deeply..but don't let him carry on hurting you by hanging on to these feelings..l hope you feel better letting it out, you are a special lady and just know that we love you...Hugs just for you..

mahodgman
03-28-2008, 08:42 AM
I'm coming in late here.....I hope you feel better today because that man does not deserve one more thought from you! I'm sorry he was so mean and stupid to you. No one deserves to be cussed out like that no matter what they were doing. I mean even if you had not decided to be courteous and move so he could get out, you would not have deserved that kind of rant. What a pathetic man!

Vintagegal
03-28-2008, 11:22 AM
Thank you, everyone. I feel a lot better this morning. I think the initial shock turned into hurt. I've never had someone go off on me like that, ever, in my life. I guess there's a first for everything. I'm much better today, and I did go to bed knowing full well that I was not in the least bit in the wrong. Thank you for all of your kind words and support. I needed it yesterday, and you guys (as always) are so willing to give.

paulssandy
03-28-2008, 02:17 PM
:shocked: WOW, that man is in desprate need of help. Both my sons did one tour in Iraq so far, and neither came home unscathed....BUT....this is well over the top. He could hurt someone some day. He probably would have gone off if you stayed put also. Seems like the wrong place in the wrong time deal. People who harbor that type of anger are best dealt with by letting them say their stuff and move on. No use engaging an already exploding bomb.

On the other hand, how wonderful those folks were there to make sure you were OK. :D I am so glad they were there for you, as well as you terrificly understanding DH. How sweet to get you a treat to cheer you up :cute:

So glad you are better today, Ethel :220: (Hey we NEED a hug smiley, teehehehe)

Sandy O

Kreative Dryve
03-28-2008, 06:27 PM
I am sorry I missed this yesterday, but as usual the shackies are there when we need each other.
Adding in my 2 cents, there was nothing you could have done any better to make him see what you were trying to do. He would have had a problem with you either way. It's his negativity in life, and yuo are a wonderful giving person.
I am glad you are feeling better today, and I am really glad that others checked on you.

~Marie

scrapsoon
03-28-2008, 06:33 PM
Oh dear Ethel how sad to hear this all.
I can imagine how upsad you are about this all.
And the man had totally no right what so ever to go out of his mind like that.
How sweet of the other guys to go to you and ask if you are ok.