View Full Version : A Time to forgive and move on

06-23-2008, 10:16 AM
Well last week l shared with you that l sent my sister a birthday card...l have two sisters that have not talked to me in over 6 years now..Both of my sisters stoped talking to me when me and Terry got together.

1- They felt l did not morn my late hb death long enough..After 20 years of marrage the last 5 years we waited for a heart transplant that never came..after 3 years of his death Terry and l started to date and married two years later..

2- When we got married in 2003, we invited them to our wedding and they showed up in shorts..and never said a word to me or Terry..However they put my daughter in between them though out the service and keep telling her how much they missed her dad..She did tell them off and said they should be happy for me if they really loved me..then she brock down crying..

3- l did get one letter from my older sister which said she needed time to morn my late hb death..about the time l started to date Terry.

Anyway l feel the time for change for me is now..and l need to forgive them so l can move on in my life..l should say l was more hurt then angry..but l do get these feelings mixed up..

So on Thursday l sent my younger sister a birthday card and told her l Prayed all was well with her and even told her l loved her..then l wished her well.

Then l wrote my older sister a card and note..l updated her on what has been going on in my life and wished her well. l then said if she wanted to go out for a coffee that ..that would be fine with me..

l don't want to fight or even try to explain my self to them..l don't think l have to..there is only 3 people l need to answer to that is the Lord. my husband and myself..So you might say l'm diong this for myself as God says we must forgive those who have hurt us..and that is what l'm doing.

l really don't want or think it could ever be like it was with them but its a start..and l really want to get on with my life and let the old garbage go..l don't even know what to say to them..l'm Praying God will help me out with this..So please Pray, we are getting together in about two weeks and l must say l'm a little worried on how it might go...l just Pray we can have a good open talk mend our wounds and walk away.

Our year has started out with one problem after another but l'm determinded to end this year better then it started..anyone that has any idea on how to deal with this l'm open..l need all the help l can get..l just want to do the right thing ..

06-23-2008, 10:22 AM
I can't think of a thing to say....but I would suggest you start with a group hug! Hugs say SO much!
GOOD LUCK! I know this kind of thing weighs heavy on our hearts!

06-23-2008, 10:29 AM
Good for you.. forgiveness can really set you free.

06-23-2008, 10:52 AM
You are doing everything right. I agree to start with a hug and that probably will ease the tension at first. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Hugs, Heather

06-23-2008, 11:02 AM
I think that you did the right thing. I hope all goes well with everything! My thoughts are with you.

06-23-2008, 11:18 AM
You did the right thing. Reaching out to begin the healing is so right and I hope all goes well when you meet. I have a feeling it will.

06-23-2008, 11:27 AM
what a wonderful thing you are doing!!
Just follow your heart, and trust in God to help you.
I'm sending you good luck hugs

06-23-2008, 11:30 AM
Hugs and prayers for you.

06-23-2008, 12:15 PM
Cathy, I hope the meeting goes well and you know, I think the people that hold grudges are the ones most affected not the person they hold it against. You've done what you can do, now just go into the meeting with peace and a loving and kind attitude and it should be fine. But, if it doesn't go as you hope- don't despair about it anymore b/c you've done all you can do now, it's time to let it go and as you say move on with your life.

06-23-2008, 12:46 PM
Hugs to you! Sometimes it takes the bravest person to take the first step!! and you did!

06-23-2008, 01:36 PM

You did such a good thing. I know it will be right for you, however it works out. You took the first step and that's the important thing.

Family relationships can be so complicated. Here is a short little poem that has helped me:

"He drew a circle to shut me out
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But love and I had wit to win,
We drew a circle and took him in."

06-23-2008, 01:46 PM
I will definitely say a prayer for you. Admitting feelings of anger and hurt to someone is a huge step, but one that you can get through if you ask God for guidance and the right words. Believe me, I've been exactly where you are. When I finally had the "talk" with my in-laws, I felt so much better. Things still aren't the greatest, but at least it's over. I hope that you get good results and this is all behind you soon.


06-23-2008, 06:36 PM
Wow, what nerve they have, telling you how long you have to mourn YOUR husbands passing! Geez, it's not like you waited a week? You did what's right for you and if they choose not to come to you, it's their loss cause you are an awesome loving person. Don't forget it.

06-23-2008, 09:05 PM
You've made the first step - it takes a good person to do that. I agree with starting with a group hug. I hope it works out in a positive manner for you.


Paula Carden
06-23-2008, 09:17 PM
What a wonderful person you are Cathi-to reach out to your family even after all the hurt! There is a special place for someone like you- It is so much better to forgive and go on living-afterall as you well know life has enough sorrow without making more!
I am thinking of you and hope that all can heal and you will have peace!

06-24-2008, 02:05 AM

You have the right attitude. It is your life and if your sisters cannot understand that you needed to move on with your life and that Terry fills that gap and makes you happy, then too bad for them. You are the bigger person for writing to them and should be proud of yourself for doing so.

I hope all goes well, and if not, oh well - it is your sisters' loss and not yours. Hugs! Pat

06-24-2008, 03:40 AM
That was a very big step for you, I hope all goes well. {{{{HUGS}}}}

06-24-2008, 03:49 AM
It takes a very strong person to forgive. I also agree with you that you should forgive those that hurt you. My husband says I am TOO forgiving, but I feel I have gotten great rewards in life from not holding grudges. I pray that things go well and God gives you strength that day and the right words to say. Big hugs and I think you are very brave for making the first move.

06-24-2008, 07:18 AM
You have everything in the right perspective. I don't think there would be many people that could be as honest and forgivng as you if they were in the same position. Stay true to yourself and all will work out for the best. Prayers and hugs are being sent your way.