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View Full Version : Can I get a hug and some prayers?



maxiesmom
12-06-2008, 11:08 PM
I am having problems with my father. He has gotten himself into major financial problems and it is threatening our financial security.

He is only 73 but jumped off the reality train many years ago. I liken it to a truth buffet and he picks and chooses the facts that suit him and the rest of the truth gets discarded. He is one of those people that you see on the news who has been scammed and thinks he will get 11 million dollars from Nigeria if he sends them a thousand dollars or whatever. We have all told him numerous times this is not legitimate and he refuses to listen.
I only allowed myself to be put on his account in case he became ill and, well someone needs to be able to pay the bills! Now this is all biting me in the behind.
I am incredibly depressed and wondering where God is. I have asked repeatedly for help and it is seeming to fall on deaf ears. I was only trying to help my father, what lesson am I being taught here? I know many here are Christians, maybe someone else can help me understand.
Please fell free to email me privately, I am not meaning to offend anyone by my post. Seriously, despondent is not too heavy a word to describe my mood today.

directmailscrapper
12-06-2008, 11:12 PM
Oh Kathy, I am so sorry that you are going through this, especially when you were trying to help! Have you talked to any financial counselors? There are Christian debt counselors out there who may be able to help you manage his debt load. Would it make sense for him to file bankrupcy? Are you sure you are liable? You should also consider talking to an attorney.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you my friend. I hope this all gets resolved soon.

Paula Carden
12-06-2008, 11:19 PM
Thinking of you- I believe you should consider some of Nancy's advice in the post above-make sure you are liable and also get legal help.

scrappinnuts
12-06-2008, 11:20 PM
Oh Kathy I feel you pain... I went through this before My Dad passed away in Oct. I now have many things to figure out...and i am responsible for many of his Debts... I am working it out with an attorney...and it is working out.... but it is hard. You have my prayers.

maxiesmom
12-06-2008, 11:29 PM
He's already filed bankruptcy- twice. He is seemingly a willing victim of scammers. We can't figure out his obsession with all of this, between his SS & pension he has more than enough to pay his bills.

loobylou
12-06-2008, 11:36 PM
(((HUGS))) I have no experience or advice, but just want to say hang in there. Sometimes we don't see the answers for a while. It's a real test of Faith,

shadoob
12-07-2008, 03:20 AM
sometimes it's not so much as a test of faith as it is what it is....but God is there to help you through. He never promised to make it all OK or easy or obviously a lesson...his only promises to us are that he will be with us as we go through it. No one can give you an easy answer--you already know this is a tough one..so, do all your homework, do one thing at a time, trust that there is strength for you and hold on for the ride.
I am so sorry that this is what you are facing right now..and who knows why it's happening...but perhaps there is a reason and it is not for you to decide what that reason is.
hugs and prayers of strength and peace for you.

tesschap
12-07-2008, 05:36 AM
Kathy,

Henri, Bentley, and I are all sending you hugs. I'm sorry for what you are going through.

jazzypurple853
12-07-2008, 06:43 AM
hugs and prayers for you!

firefly
12-07-2008, 07:47 AM
Kathy - seek out some good professional advice immediately - there are ways to take care of your father's financial affairs for his protection and yours.

Sending lots of prayers your way that the situation improves soon -

toao
12-07-2008, 07:52 AM
Kathy, thank you so much for asking for prayer! I will definitely pray for you. Don't give up on God, he's still there. When we go through times as tough as these, I believe He stays quiet for a reason...so that we'll draw even closer to Him. "be still, and know that I am God." Sometimes we have to stop screaming and listen too. I know it's hard. I've just come through one of those rough patches. I just wanted to learn my lesson and move on. Read Joshua 1:9. I hope it gives you some comfort.

mahodgman
12-07-2008, 08:06 AM
I don't have and advice or experience to share, but I do have an abundance of hugs and prayers for you. Take care of yourself!

Nancy
12-07-2008, 09:15 AM
Talk to an attorney and doctor and see if you can get him classified as not being able to handle money, believe me attornies and doctors are the only ones who can help save your financial future. He is uncapable of handling money. Losing your house over it will not be nice if he constantly does this and you have your name on things. - Nancy

teabear
12-07-2008, 09:26 AM
You have lots of good advice here. I'm so sorry you are going through this, Kathy. There really are two different issues to deal with, his mental capacity/health and the legal/financial stuff. I believe that just because you are on his bank account doesn't mean you are liable for his debts, and either way take your name of his accounts quickly.

maxiesmom
12-07-2008, 10:22 AM
Thank you all for your kind words of advise & encouragement. I only have my name on his savings/checking account which happened to be at our CU, that is apparently why they are involving me. The account is frozen and I cannot be removed until this is resolved. I tried!

mom_on_line
12-07-2008, 10:22 AM
Ditto what Nancy said. Talk to a lawyer about getting power of attorney, maybe?

Hugs and prayers!

Canadian, eh
12-07-2008, 10:28 AM
Kathy, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. We just went through a little bit of a worry too--Donnie is a cosigner for his stepson's school loans. We constantly get calls from the bank because his stepson is in arrears, and last week we got a letter from the bank saying they were going to take action. His stepson didn't respond when Don e-mailed him, but lo and behold, our prayers were answered and he came through (for now). So when I say I know how you feel, I really do. My illness almost got me hospitalized because I was feeling so overwhelmed. Please don't let this happen to you. You know you can e-mail any time. I'll have a glass of wine and write right back

cecescraps
12-07-2008, 11:03 AM
Kathy, I know this must be really hard for you and I will keep you and your father in my prayers. You have gotten some really good advice from the ladies here and I hope you are able to sort through everything and get it resolved quickly. One step at a time my friend, one step at a time! LOTS OF HUGS for you today.

cindi
12-07-2008, 11:43 AM
I'm sorry Kathy. I have no advice here, but it seems the ladies have given you some good advice. Me and the kittys are sending hugs and I'll pray for you.
:190:

pesc
12-07-2008, 11:48 AM
Talk to an attorney and doctor and see if you can get him classified as not being able to handle money, believe me attornies and doctors are the only ones who can help save your financial future. He is uncapable of handling money. Losing your house over it will not be nice if he constantly does this and you have your name on things. - Nancy

I find this makes sense... I don't know if it the same in the US but here the first thing you should do is to have a legal paper giving you (or someone else that is trustfull) the power of managing your father money...

Don't give up their is a solution!!! But I know it's hard for now!!!

Here is a ((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))

Far North
12-07-2008, 01:30 PM
You already got good advice here so I will just add my Hugs and prayers.

Kreative Dryve
12-07-2008, 03:08 PM
You have gotten some great advice from these lovely ladies.
My voice of experience tell me to deal with it one step at a time, I know it's hard
but ignoring the problem is not the solution. It sounds pretty scary that they keep doing this to him, how are they finding him?
I would try to find your nearest agency on aging, they are a wealth of information on concerns with the eldery, and could even lead you to a attorney or counselor.

Lots of hugs and well wishes

maxiesmom
12-07-2008, 03:41 PM
Thank you everyone for all your kind words and prayers. They may be working already, I am doing much better today. Yesterday was just not a good day. You have given me some great ideas. Don't worry MJ, I am pursuing this totally. He is the one that seems to think if he wishes it away he won't have to deal with it. I, on the other hand, do live in the real world!

Tantalize
12-07-2008, 04:19 PM
Hi Kathy, I dont have any advice or experience with this either. But I am thinking of you and hoping that it all works out soon.

Christie
12-07-2008, 05:46 PM
Oh Kathy, always know that the Lord is there for you. He may not always give you the answer you want or give it to you as fast as you want but he is ALWAYS there. I hope that all this will be straightened out soon.

irishchristine
12-07-2008, 06:52 PM
Kathy, sending hugs to you!!

ccstampin12
12-07-2008, 07:12 PM
I agree with all the advice given here...and have nothing to add. I have had no experience with this.
I CAN send you prayers and HUGS, though, and I certainly hope this will work out well for you.
HUGS
Joanie

smileycollector
12-07-2008, 07:15 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this Kathy and want to send my hugs and prayers to you with all the others. As always, the gals here have given you some wonderful advice. Wishing you all the best! Keep Smiling!

toao
12-07-2008, 08:03 PM
Kathy, just wanted to let you know that I've thought of you several times today and I've lifted you up in prayer each time. Keep your chin up, keep your eyes on the SON.

scraphappy908
12-07-2008, 08:57 PM
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Nancy offered the best advice. I can't think of any more to add except to seek legal advice ASAP. Once you are able to get things under control, try to get some psychological help for your dad.
In the meantime, I offer my prayers and support.
(((Hugs)))

patg
12-08-2008, 12:09 AM
((((HUGS))))))))). I am sorry you are going through this. It mustn't be easy. But I do agree that you should seek some legal and financial advise! All will work out. I'll be praying for you! Pat

Darleneh710
12-08-2008, 12:26 AM
I am sorry you are going through this. I think it is awful. I hope you take some of the other ladies advice about seeking a lawyer and finding out if you are liable or not.

here's some hugs for you!:183:

logcabincreations
12-09-2008, 12:10 PM
keeping you in my prayers.

Artyfarty
12-09-2008, 02:15 PM
I agree on getting legal advice and send huge hugs of support and prayers xxxxxx