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View Full Version : I have a question about graduation ...



iloveflipflops
05-20-2009, 06:16 AM
I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way but ... when you get a graduation announcement from someone, say a friend of yours but you have never met the one graduating ... do you feel like you should send a graduation present? I got an announcement yesterday from a pen pal of mine in Texas who I have never met. We've been emailing back and forth for about 8 years and I only hear from her once every few months now.

I don't know if I should send her dd money or just a card?

And ... I will be in this situation next year with Emily. I would love to send out graduation announcements but I do not want people to feel obligated to send her money. How can I tactfully write that in the announcement or do I say anything at all?

emmcee
05-20-2009, 06:31 AM
I don't know the correct answer, Sherri. When Laura graduated from HS and I graduated from Catawba, I sent out announcements to everybody, but I wasn't expecting any gifts for either of us, I just wanted people to know what was going on in our lives. I've received about 4 announcements this year, but not every one will get a gift. I can't afford it. I would probably just send this girl one of your beautiful cards and write a little note congratulating her. I guess this was a long paragraph to tell you that!

shadoob
05-20-2009, 07:14 AM
I'm with Michelle. This particular girl gets a card and a note. When my kiddos graduated, we just sent an announcement and a short note saying hi and that we just wanted to share...
I did institute a "policy" of what I sent to others though.
I send just a card to some folks, a certain amt to friends' kids, something else to my kids' friends, then another amount to nieces/nephews....that way I kept it consistent from year to year. You are entereing an exciting period of your kids' lives!

maxiesmom
05-20-2009, 08:00 AM
Me three, you've never met her or her kid, card and a note. Heck, we don't want to give any money to a cousins daughter who fiannly got her GED after dropping out years ago. Guess cause she is throwing a party for daughter # 2, she is feeling bad that daughter # 1 got 'cheated'. Well yeah, you don't graduate, you don't get celebrated. David's aunt told my FIL she didn't feel like giving the girl money to buy drugs- ouch- didn't know that was in the mix. I just thought she was a slacker.

Sorry, got sidetracked there. It's been bothering me. We aren't close to either girl.

suzi_f
05-20-2009, 08:04 AM
Well, I'm going to be getting a grad announcement (my friend asked for my addy, that' the only reason I can think she wants it) for the dd of an online friend. We have met & I used to consider her a good friend; now we just occasionally "talk" on FB. Anyway, her dd is graduating from 8th grade, not high school!!! What do I do for her??? Do I have to send $$$? Do I send her a cap & gown card or just a "congrats" card.

mahodgman
05-20-2009, 08:19 AM
Well, I don't get tons of graduation announcements, but I do remember when I graduated from high school I sent them mostly to family. I didn't expect a gift, I just wanted to share my good news. Family is a different situation to me. When my very close friends (whoes kids I watched grow up) and family graduate, I do send a gift of money. This year the only graduate I know about is my cousin's daughter who I adore. If I'd never met the kid or I didn't have a connection to the kid, I would just send a card.

logcabincreations
05-20-2009, 09:04 AM
Family and closest friends I will send money. Last year I received an announcement from the grandson of the lady who babysat for me 20 years ago....who I had not seen in 17 years.....I sent nothing.

loobylou
05-20-2009, 09:10 AM
This is all quite foreign to me. I Australia, we don't send graduation announcements- not even when you graduate university with a degree. You have a graduation ceremony at school and closest family attends, that's it! Nobody sends money to anyone either, not even to grandchildren, or nieces and nephews. I find we really are not nearly as "festive" about celebrations as the Americans.

Sherri, I just think you do what feels right to you, not what is "expected". If you don't send the kid birthday andChristmas presents, I wouldn't think you need to send a graduation present- but what do I know?

logcabincreations
05-20-2009, 09:20 AM
This is all quite foreign to me. I Australia, we don't send graduation announcements- not even when you graduate university with a degree. You have a graduation ceremony at school and closest family attends, that's it! Nobody sends money to anyone either, not even to grandchildren, or nieces and nephews. I find we really are not nearly as "festive" about celebrations as the Americans.

That's very interesting and in all honesty I'm not sure how the announcement thing started here in the USA. My middle son received enough money when he graduated last year to purchase a GPS (which is good for him as he has my sense of direction...lol...actually he isn't as bad as I am.) And my oldest received quite a bit of money when he graduated to use to pay for some of his college books.

cecescraps
05-20-2009, 09:52 AM
I would send a card. And, for the record, you will NOT be getting an invitation from Patrick. LOL Seriously, I only send to family and those friends that have known Patrick his entire life! I did send some of the graduation PARTY invites to friends & coaches from here but, that's b/c I like to entertain and so they would know it was just to celebrate the accomplishment and not to recieve a gift! :)

Nancy
05-20-2009, 11:09 AM
I would send a card and to the GED person, she is also entitled to a card, going back and doing that work isn't easy, I feel that is a sign of maturing. - Nancy

mydogstinks2
05-20-2009, 03:30 PM
I have to agree with everyone else here. I would send just a card with a note inside of it.

Darleneh710
05-20-2009, 04:02 PM
Ditto...I think if you don't keep in touch with someone than there is no obligation...but like Sarah said, do what you feel is right. I think a card and a note is perfect! My DD will be graduating from 8th grade next yr...yikes it goes by so fast...and we would only send to our friends and family...hth

cindi
05-20-2009, 06:20 PM
I think one of your fab cards and a note of congrats is plenty.
:nod:

shadoob
05-20-2009, 10:23 PM
...actually, if you DO feel the need to send money, please alert me so that I can send you announcements for things in my life as well!! lol

tesschap
05-21-2009, 09:17 AM
I would just send a card with a note wishing her well. We get several graduation announcements every year it seems. Last year we received four that we decided to gift with $$. DH had a niece and nephew that graduated hs, his cousin's son, and our best friend's sisters son in FL. To this moment we have never received a verbal or written thank you from any of them and it still iritates me to no end. We raised our boys that they could not play with a gift or do anything with money they received until they either made a phone call to say thank you or wrote a thank you note. The year Evan graduated from high school one of my elderly aunts sent him a graduation card and enclosed a note congratulating him for his accomplishments, including words of wisdom, and some memories she had of him growing up. She also wrote that because she had eleven graduation announcements (all family) that year she was not able to give gifts. Her personal note touched Evan more than a gift would have and when he wrote out his thank you notes he sent her one thanking her for sharing her wisdom and memories with him.

MnMommy2
05-21-2009, 09:59 AM
I agree with the others, money isn't necessary. We've received 2 grad announcements/invites to parties already, one more should be coming- these all are extended family and we've seen these kids grow up, so we'll be giving $$. I know another boy who should be graduating this year, we are not technically family, but we were because of a relative married into their family. Well, since then my family member passed away, even though we acted like family for many years, they've not kept in any contact. I've tried to keep in touch with this family and write/send cards, but for about 5 years I've got nothing, but still seem to get a card from their oldest daughter who just had a baby announcing it and telling me where the baby registry is. I didn't send anything then and won't send anything to the boy graduating.