Advise

[hutchink]

We a heavy heart I write that today at 2pm I am putting my beloved cat Nala of 16 years to sleep! She is sick and not doing well!

My question is how to do I tell the boys? I am doing it all alone while Joe is at work and they are at school!

Hugs!

[Christie]

I'm so sorry Kim. I know this is going to be very hard. Sending you big hugs! ((((HUGS))))

[midnitecreations]

Aw Kim. I'm so sorry. We had to put our dog to sleep sometime ago and I remember being in your shoes and wondering how to tell my oldest DS then. I finally told him that our dog had been very ill and that he was sleeping now and God was taking care of him. I didn't tell him that we had put him to sleep. He cried. But, I hugged him tight and just assured him that neither we nor God wanted him to suffer and that the dog was now happy and running around and playing in God's care with no pain. That made my DS feel better.

[Fief14]

Kim, so sorry to hear his. Renu's advice sounds like a nice way to explain to your kiddos without going into to much detail. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Patty]

How sad. I also agree with Renu. Kids usually don't want as much detail as we think they do. Hugs and quiet time with him are a good idea too. I'll say a prayer for both of you.

[shadoob]

Kim, I used to be a Children's Minister and I ALWAYS used the book "waterbugs and dragonflies" by Doris Stickney for young children. It is not a GOD-y book but does help kids (and adults) better understand that death is a serious change but not always a bad one...just one we can't understnad or like...
Please call or email me if you can't get it at the library today ( I can get you a copy via the internet today)
# is in my profile.

[shadoob]

Also, I am sorry for your loss...what a hard thing to have to do. hugs to you too.

[shadoob]

Here is the text - sorry I couldn't link to it. The book has cute drawings, but the story is good too. Your furry friend will be in a place better than here---we just don't know where that place is.


WATERBUGS AND DRAGONFLIES

(A Parable of Death As A Transition To A Better Afterlife)

by Doris Stickney
Pilgrim Press, 1982 New York

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft muc on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?" Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. "That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second water bug. "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. No one had the answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." "We promise," they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why."

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. "I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies, too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went."

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful world of sun and air!

[teabear]

Oh, K, I'm so sorry. We had to put our beloved Bo dog down when Kyle was in 1st grade. We told him a few days before that Bo was sick and that he had a tumor and we talked about that he would die soon. On the day we had him put down, we told Kyle when we picked him up from school. We never told him he was put down, we just felt like that was too hard to explain. He still doesn't know that detail. We made a small memorial grave in the backyard and had a little family ceremony. It was tough. Whatever makes sense for you and your family is the right thing. Lots of hugs to you.

[Erin K]

((hugs)) sounds like you have some good advice here already. I second it.

[Vintagegal]

Kim, I am so very sorry. I have nothing to add. I wish I could hug you and the kiddos, right now.

[jazzypurple853]

Hugs to you and your boys. I went thru this a few years back. I just told my daughter that the cat was very sick. As soon as I told her she said she wanted another cat. We did get another cat eventually, but not right away.We talked about the good times that we had with the cat. I did send a note to her teacher, incase she was acting differntly. Some time later on I had her put together a scrapbook of her and the cat. I have yet to do it myself.

[Paula Carden]

Kim I am so sorry-it is very hard to do this and I am thinking of you!
I just did this recently but have no children to tell but it sounds as if Sheryl has some good advice.
(Hugs)

[hutchink]

Thanks so much everyone! I have about 30 minutes before I have to leave for the vet!

Sheryl thank you so much for the story! We are going to the book store tonight to see if they have it!

[directmailscrapper]

Kim, I'm late to your post -- but we had to do the same thing with our cat Baxter when Emily was about 4th grade. We knew we were going to do it when we dropped her off from school but we didn't tell her. Then we picked her up from school, we just told her that he had died -- not that we had put him down.

A couple years later, Richard and I picked her up from school together for some random reason and she had a panicky look in her eye and wanted to know what was wrong. We were confused until she told us that the last time both of us picked her up together Baxter had died...

I'm not sure that the little ones need to know that YOU made the decision. Good luck, Kim. I know that it is sad when we lose our furry friends.

[cindi]

Oh kim, I'm l;ate to see this too. I'm so sorry, I wish I could come right over and hug you. I'm sending up prayers fro your family and beloved furbaby, too
(((hugs)))

[hutchink]

Thank you all for you support and sympathy! The boys took it very well!

[cindi]

what a beautiful kitty nala was. are her eyes really that color? I'm glad the boys took it pretty good. My sympathies are with you.
:wubclub:

[teabear]

She was such a beautiful cat. Lots and lots of hugs. It's such a tough thing to have to do.

[midnitecreations]

beautiful cat. So glad the boys are taking it well. Hugs to all of you

[maxiesmom]

Kim, I just want to say how sorry I am, I do know how hard it is to have to do this. Hugs for you all.

[loobylou]

Kim, I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Nala. She looks so pretty in the photo. I'm glad the boys are doingOK. I hope you got the bugs story cos I think that Sam would love it (bug boy)

[mydogstinks2]

I'm sorry for the loss of your pet. There is lots of great advice here!

[workin4stamps]

Sorry we're reading this late Kim, but Sherri & I are both sorry to hear this. We are sending cyber hugs your way.

[Mrs. Fence]

I'm so sorry for you all. The death of a beloved pet is never easy. Hugs to you all.

[hbpuppy]

Hi Kim. I am so sorry about your kitty.