Need "Mom" advice

[directmailscrapper]

Emily has a "cyber" boyfriend -- from Band Camp. They have been in constant contact (IM, text, phone) for almost a month. Tomorrow is supposed to be the BIG DAY -- when they actually get together for the first time. LOL. Several of his friends are meeting at his house and they are going to play mini golf.

I told Emily that I was going to call his Mom -- as I would call the Moms of her girlfriends if they were making plans -- plus I need to meet him and his parents before they "go out".

Emily thinks I should address her as Mrs. XXX when call. I don't really call ANYBODY by their title last name any more! I think this is a friendly phone call between two parents. Should I call her by her first name (which, by the way, I don't know yet). Or call her "Nick's Mom" which would have been my first inclination until she told me her name. Or should I call her Mrs. XXX?

Isn't this funny? Getting etiquette advice from my daughter... And why would she care?

[dancing queen]

I would suggest that once you know her first name, you make the call. If a female answers the phone, you would say, *"Hi, is this 'Mary Smith'?" If se says yes, then you can say, "Hi Mary, this is Nancy Freeman... I'm Emily's mom." If it isn't the mom who answers the phone, then I would ask for her and when she gets to the phone, start at the * I think this puts you on a first-name basis after that. I'll be curious to see what you finally decide.

[teabear]

Call her Mrs. xxx, and then she'll probably correct you with her first name.

[shadoob]

My advice on this subject is to ALWAYS use the Mr or Mrs (Dr..Rev, whatever..) UNTIL they correct you. Sometimes I then ask them if they prefer I use another name or not.

My experience is that some people are REALLY offended by you using their first name and the others just laugh it off and ask you to use their first name.
Here's me- who never offends anyone :twitcy: but I do think I'm right on this one.
Your daughter was obviously brought up correctly.
(Can you IMAGINE people becoming friends over the internet?!?!)

[workin4stamps]

I hate it when anybody calls me Mrs. Gentry, so I vote for her first name. Since he and Emily are texting 24/7, can't you have her ask him what her first name is??

I feel like you're both on the same level here, so the formality is not necessary.

Just my opinion!!! (So according to Cheryl I must not have been brought up correctly!!!! hahaha!!! Just kidding Cheryl!!!!)

[shadoob]

Just my opinion!!! (So according to Cheryl I must not have been brought up correctly!!!! hahaha!!! Just kidding Cheryl!!!!) <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
__________________
Traci


ha ha ha......I must just live around and work around lots of uptight folks, that's all....

[Paula Carden]

I hate it when anybody calls me Mrs. Gentry, so I vote for her first name. Since he and Emily are texting 24/7, can't you have her ask him what her first name is??

I feel like you're both on the same level here, so the formality is not necessary.

Just my opinion!!! (So according to Cheryl I must not have been brought up correctly!!!! hahaha!!! Just kidding Cheryl!!!!)


Gotta say I am with Tracy on this one- as this does put you both on equal grounds. You are the mom of Miss Em and she is the mom of the boy so...I say call her by her first name. It doesn't really matter what her status as she is just the mother of another friend.

I probably am one to usually use titles more than necessary but this one I agree with Tracy on.

[Nancy]

I was in a Dr.s' office the other day and she called out Mrs. Anthony for me to come. I thanked her for being so polite, she answered me with Thank you and people are happier with that phrase. - Nancy

[Mrs. Middleton]

My mom always called my friends moms by there first names.... i dont know why... lol she just always did...

[IMBlessed5]

The joke around here we don't have first names. We're "Aubrey's mom" or "Braden's mom"..... LOL!

I think it depends on the situation and this seems pretty informal to me, I'd go with first names. If it were a business/professional type situation, then Mr./Mrs. XXXX would be in order.

[workin4stamps]

I just have to say that I sure hope Cheryl is coming to Shackapalooza again next year, because now I want to call her Mrs. Powers the whole time. LOL.

I just have to write this down so I don't forget by then!!

sometimes I crack myself up!

[Vintagegal]

OK....this is how I was raised...............

When I meet ANYONE for the first time, whether they are 10 years younger than me. 10 years older, their husband or wife is a Staff Sargeant or a Two-Star-General, I address them as Mr. or Mrs. Until they correct, me, I err on the 'formal side.' I don't ever assume that they want to be called by their first name.

80% of the time, they will eventually ask me to call them by their first name. Until then, I will call them by their formal name. While *I* personally, don't necessarily want to be called Mrs. Amutan by the folks associated directly in Sean's squadron, I don't want some Four-Star General to call me "Ethel" just because he is higher ranking than my husband. He can call me Mrs. Amutan until I correct him. If he expects me to call him General So-and-So, he can also call me Mrs. Amutan.

So, with Mrs. [ Emily's boyfriend's mom ], she is probably a very non-formal person and will correct you quickly. But, what if she isn't? Just because we don't want people to be all 'hoity toity' (as some people put it) with us, doesn't mean they appreciate you calling them by their first name.

Just my two-cents.

[loobylou]

well, I'd probably not call her anything!(Chicken!!!) My phonecall would probably start with "Hi, this is Nancy Freeman, I'm Emily's Mum. Our kids are getting together today". Hopefully she'd say "oh hi, I'm Kim"

[dancing queen]

I just have to say that I sure hope Cheryl is coming to Shackapalooza again next year, because now I want to call her Mrs. Powers the whole time. LOL.

I just have to write this down so I don't forget by then!!

sometimes I crack myself up!

you just cracked me up too Traci!

[pesc]

Hum... I bet I would do as Sarah... I'm pretty good at avoiding using a name if I'm not sure I use the right one so I would say it in a way I don't have to use her name at all... But if your girl ask you to use Mrs... I would do so because it's not a bad thing to be over polite and she would be please!
Let us know how it will go!
By the way, I've meet my husband through Internet... (I'm not telling you it's the case for your girl but I think it's a modern way to meet people)

[suzi_f]

Hum... I bet I would do as Sarah... I'm pretty good at avoiding using a name if I'm not sure

I've been married for 20 years & I have NEVER called my MIL anything directly. I refer to her as "Scott's Mom" whenever I am required to call her anything. I can't call her by her first name, her nickname or especially mom!!!! I guess I could call her Mrs. Calame but, that might not play out so well for me. LOL

I would probably call the other mom by Mrs. whatever until she told me to call her by her first name. I have a problem calling my kids' teachers anything but Mrs. So-so. Even Miss Ham who is young enough to be my daughter. LOL

[gssoccermom]

I also agree with Tracy on this I hate it when people call mrs Obermeier it is way to formal for me. I'm just casual me.

[shadoob]

I just have to say that I sure hope Cheryl is coming to Shackapalooza again next year, because now I want to call her Mrs. Powers the whole time. LOL.

I just have to write this down so I don't forget by then!!

sometimes I crack myself up!

OK, Traci, if you call me anything else, I will ignore you.... you crack me up too....<!-- / message --><!-- BEGIN TEMPLATE: ad_showthread_firstpost_sig --><!-- END TEMPLATE: ad_showthread_firstpost_sig --><!-- sig -->

[Nancy]

Here's a better one on my husbands side of the family everyone calls everyone by their first name the moms and dads and grandmas and cousins everyone. My mother in law says if you dont know your family and what relationship they are, you must be dumb. Her words. - I have always known her as Dot and now she is my mother in law also. The only time they called their grandmother by her last name was when she taught them in school and we are going back generations - Nancy

[directmailscrapper]

It was a non-issue. Nick has the flu and the whole event was cancelled. I'm sure they will try again -- thanks for the advice! LOL!

[3amnmmom]

I agree with Vicki when it comes to a business/professional situation go Mr. & Mrs. but this seems to be on a more social level. Yikes to begin with new boyfriend and shes how old? Don't even tell me because I have three girls and don't really want to know the answer to that anymore.

[directmailscrapper]

I agree with Vicki when it comes to a business/professional situation go Mr. & Mrs. but this seems to be on a more social level. Yikes to begin with new boyfriend and shes how old? Don't even tell me because I have three girls and don't really want to know the answer to that anymore.

Tracy -- she's 13 and in 8th grade! He's 14 and a freshman. We are looking at a GROUP event -- not a 2-person, romantic date... YIKES