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View Full Version : Opinions please needed (long story)



iloveflipflops
05-04-2010, 01:12 PM
Ok, I am going to Cincy on Thurs to meet my sister and we are going to help our aunt out. My uncle is in a nursing home and not doing that great at all. She spends ALOT of time at the nursing home and we are going to help her unpack boxes at their new house (they just moved in the very day he had his stroke), clean or do whatever we need to do to help her out. She has never been without him in the 48 years they've been married so i can only imagine this whole thing is overwhelming to say the least. I know he continues to pass out and she wants to be with him during the day, in case something does happen. They're doing a CT scan on him again today and see what they see.

They have 1 son and he is married with 2 kids. My cousin (the son)'s wife is wanting us to FORCE HER TO GO TO CHURCH. She has only been once in the past month and that's only because my cousin's wife forced her to go. I say if she wants to go, fine, we will take her. If not, that's her choice and we won't make her go. Why would we FORCE her to go?

Am I wrong in thinking this way? My sister agrees with me I think. I just want to see what you all think.

suzi_f
05-04-2010, 01:15 PM
WHY on earth does this cousin think she HAS to go to church?? Odd!! No, don't make her go. It's her life, she can do what she wants. If she wants to spend all her days w/her hubby, she should. The only thing I can think is somehow the cousin thinks if he dies he won't go to heaven 'cause his wife neglected church? That's just CRAZY!!

shuggy
05-04-2010, 01:21 PM
i think take her if she wants to go but don't force her.

mydogstinks2
05-04-2010, 01:23 PM
not sure the wanting to force her either??

I would just ask her while you are there. Saturday night just bring it up and say "hey, do you want to go to church in the morning?" If she says no then leave it at that.

3amnmmom
05-04-2010, 01:35 PM
I agree don't force her. Does your cousin think that God only lives in Church? I am sure she is praying every day for his health to return and God will listen to her wether it be at the Nursing Home or Church.

iloveflipflops
05-04-2010, 01:36 PM
I knew I was right!! LOL

tesschap
05-04-2010, 01:38 PM
Yes Sherri you are right! If she wants to go great. If not, it is her decision.

suzi_f
05-04-2010, 01:50 PM
I knew I was right!! LOL

We knew you knew you were right! I like Chris' suggestion!!

ccstampin12
05-04-2010, 02:35 PM
Nope....never force someone to do something that should be left to choice.
in mho
joanie

teabear
05-04-2010, 02:36 PM
I think God understands that she needs to be with her husband. My grandfather was a baptist minister and he always told us God is everywhere. He doesn't live in a church; he lives in your heart.

KarenM
05-04-2010, 03:03 PM
I agree with all these wonderful ladies. I don't think you should force her to go to church at all. But if she had been an attendee at a church and is comfortable I would call them (the church) and let them know she may need their prayers and help especially once you're gone. I watched my father-in-law go through the same thing with his wife. We all lived pretty far away from them. My in-laws would have loved to have people come visit and just sit with them.

emmcee
05-04-2010, 05:58 PM
You are correct on this one, Sherri. But you might want to find out who the pastor is, maybe he doesn't know what's going on with her and your uncle, he might get some church people to call her and come visit so she knows people care for them and are praying for them. Prayer always helps, and you all know when Paul was so sick, I couldn't go to church, I barely went to work. But I knew everyone cared.

MidwestStamper
05-04-2010, 06:20 PM
Some good suggestions here. God comes to US and seeks us out--we don't need to be forced to attend a building to feel his presence!

Does the Nursing Home where your Uncle is have a Chaplain that could stop by and offer prayer, and even communion if they would want that?

directmailscrapper
05-04-2010, 09:34 PM
I agree -- she shouldn't be forced to go to church. But perhaps the minister could come and visit her -- and your uncle?

iloveflipflops
05-04-2010, 09:48 PM
The minister has been there and so have alot of their good friends from church. She has a huge support system behind her so I think that part is good. its just the fact that she should not be forced to go and i am going to let her tell me what she wants to do on Mothers Day. :)

Patty
05-04-2010, 10:40 PM
Holy Cow---doesn't the poor woman have enough to worry about?? If she wants to go I'm sure she will ask you to take her. She is probably treasuring every moment with him. If they are that religious, maybe the priest/minister will come and visit them in the hospital/home.

GrammaStamper
05-04-2010, 10:44 PM
IMHO, you can't force anybody to do anything! Besides, our Faith lives in us, not in a building. God hears and feels her pain and will do what's necessary for this couple. Sounds like her church friends and her minister have much more empathy that the cousin that wants to force her to go to church. Follow your Aunt's lead and let her decide.

Paula Carden
05-05-2010, 06:06 AM
I agree-she knows the church is there when she is ready to go back. Her priorities are straight and I don't blame her for wanting to be with him everyday. She must miss him terribly and be so concerned for his future.
Your cousin must have an issue.