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View Full Version : How to train for a mammogram - I laughed out loud at this one as I can relate :)



iloveflipflops
10-30-2006, 10:41 AM
GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all t heir warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!

inkinupstamps
10-30-2006, 10:44 AM
If you can't laugh about it, the alternative is nothing to laugh about, eh?

TFS!:D

teabear
10-30-2006, 01:01 PM
So true! LOL

workin4stamps
10-30-2006, 01:20 PM
that is funny!!! I think I had seen that before but forgot about it!!!! LOL

Traci

GrammaStamper
10-30-2006, 02:29 PM
I don't know whether iit's better to have large ones, or the smaller, flatter variety. I can't say for sure, but I think, in this case, smaller is NOT better......

Very funny, Sherri. TFS,

laos348
10-30-2006, 02:30 PM
Very funny! And since this year I had my first mammogram, very appropriate!

Laura