Racism at the park

[Erin K]

So we went to the park and when we got there one other car of people were there, a grandma and two boys, probably 4 and 6 yrs old. So I start getting my boys out and the younger boy jumps out of his car and yells to his grandma, "It's ok they are white" So I go, "What??" and the grandma says, "You don't say that so loud" and I give her a look and she says, "We went to the other park but there were only black kids there so we came here" And I say, "What?" again because I always know the right thing to say... NOT. And she says, "Well they said that because there was no school they reserved that park and we couldn't play" So I say, "Oh, so they told you to leave" and she said, "We didn't feel welcome with them" and I say, "So they were rude to you?" and she said, "Yea" so I say, "Well you don't want to be where you don't feel welcome then, but I don't think it has to do with them being black" and she looked embarressed but the kid says, "We don't like black kids" and I didn't know what to say to that, but we were the only people at the park so I just turn and start pushing Stephen on a swing.

We of course played with them, because they were super friendly to us and I don't think I can explain to my 2yr old about racism yet so I just went with the flow and was nice back. Then a black man and his boy come out of one of the houses by the park and I think they are coming to the park because they walk over on the path by it so I hollar, "Hello" to them all cheerful because we love to play with more people and they wave but keep on walking by and the grandma says, "Oh good" when they pass!

It was so freaky and I tell you I'd never had known they weren't the friendliest people ever if not for the comments about black people. I sorta think all racist people are gonna be mean jerks all the time but this lady was super sweet to us and I kept thinking, If I was black she'd have taken her kids to a third park so they didn't have to play with mine!

I should have told her off shouldn't I have? I didn't know what to do... I mean we wanted to play and have a nice day... I hope what I said was enough to let her know I didn't agree...

[hbpuppy]

Eeek. That's horrible that that lady's ingnorance is rubbing off on her grandkids.

I sell hot tubs at home shows. Well, some of the other salespeople were racist and wouldn't sell to certain people. Well, I told them that they were being lame but they were set in their ways so I made a lot of commission money that could have been theirs if they weren't so stupid.

You probably did the right thing in the park by not making a scene in front of the boys and by setting a standard with them by treating all people kindly. No matter what they look like and how stupid they are.

[Erin K]

I thought to say, "Well we don't play with racists" and leave but it's not that Stephen would have learned from that at all and he wanted to play. He would have just seen Mommy be mean to an old lady and take him out of the park... so I think I did the best thing for my kids but maybe would have done something different if it was just me. However at the end of the day my responsibilty it to my own kids, not to teaching this lady about her racist ways... right??

[Spartymom]

That Grandma is not leaving a good impression at all with those kids. Glad you played with them, and said Hello to the family that passed. IT's a shame that people are like that. Kim

[toao]

How sad...and rude of her. I know Tori has asked me questions before about disabled people. (She saw someone in a wheelchair) She asked what was wrong with them, and I told her "Nothing is wrong with them, God just made them different. They are just as important as everyone else". Even Billy's brother Chris has 2 arms that are short because they were deformed at birth. She always says "God made him special, didn't he?" There is a point to this: Of course the subject has come up before about people being different colors too, and she thinks it really cool that God made people's skin in different colors. She doesn't think of it in the sense of "black" or "white", she just thinks it pretty, like a rainbow is. I'm so glad for that. I don't ever want her to be prejudice towards anyone.

Mary

[dodocraft]

My grandaughter is biracial... My DD, DSin law and DG live in Wisc. and they have not, (thanks goodness) come in direct contact with racism. I'm sure people talk behind them when they see a white woman and black man. My granddaughter is the most beautiful little girl and the sweetest. She attends a Christian preschool where she is the only black child and the other kids love her and I don't think they even notice her color. They all flock to her to play. It certainly begins at home and people should teach their children that color is only skin deep. Dorothy

[teabear]

That woman is a moron. You handled it well, Erin.

[ellie]

One of the reasons I love children so much is the fact that they are so accepting. They love you for who you really are and not because of how you look. You did the right thing by being kind Erin and setting the example not only for your children but for that woman's grandchildren. She should be ashamed of herself!

[Vintagegal]

"Well you don't want to be where you don't feel welcome then, but I don't think it has to do with them being black"

You did the right thing by saying this.

[Caboverde1]

No question you did the right thing...you cant change 60 yrs of ignorance (im guessing the old ladies age)...you did what you could without ruining your day...but welcome to my world! She taught you something today...wolves truly can put on a sheeps clothing...God Bless her and ESPECIALLY those kids!

TOnii

[emmcee]

You did great, Erin. Racism is still alive and functioning in the good old United States of America. It's not just black & white either, it's everything & anything and anyone. One just has to know how to handle the awful truth.

I'm off my soapbox now. Keep teaching your little guys as you did today !

[mahodgman]

I don't think I would have known what to say either. You could have yelled at her or told her off, but how much good would that really have done? She is the one missing out on all life has to offer, not you or your boys. You are doing fine, mom!

[Erin K]

I tell you the strangest thing was I kept thinking, "These kids are so nice, and this woman is so friendly" I mean they were really sweet to me. I would have NEVER guessed. Somehow that made me MORE mad you know? Like I wanted to beleive that all racist people are total jerks and that I'd somehow know they were like that even if it didn't come up. The whole thing was awful.

Anyhow we did have a fun time, I love seeing Stephen play at the park! Ethan went on swings and he loved it.

[emmcee]

Erin, I think this issue you ran into today is kind of typical of our world today. The ones you think will won't and the ones you think won't will.

You didn't think your friendly grandma was but she is.

[mahodgman]

Erin, I think this issue you ran into today is kind of typical of our world today. The ones you think will won't and the ones you think won't will.

You didn't think your friendly grandma was but she is.

So true, Michelle! My wonderful grandmother whom I love dearly is prejudice. Finally after more than 20 years of marriage, she has accepted my step-siter's black husband as family. She has always liked him and was sweet to him, but she never approved of thier marriage.

We can change the world one person at a time. Erin, you have the opportunity to change the world by bringing up your children to be color blind.

[mom_on_line]

Yes, I certainly agree that you handled it well.

I really don't come across this kind of problem myself, but I happened to be treated not so nicely not long ago, which really shocked and enraged me. I am Asian, my DH is caucasian, so our children bi-racial. I was so mad, I left the room (we were at a cocktail party prior to dinner) and went into the bathroom where I was sooo tempted to leave, but decided not to. I can tell you I was cussing up and down and all over (in my head, not aloud!) but felt much better and a few deep breaths and went back to the party.