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Thread: SWAP rudeness at SCS

  1. Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Wow, unfortunately I would probably let my anger take over and say something I shouldn't. If I could be the bigger person, I would do what Traci said.

    I didn't know once we signed up for a swap we needed to contact the hostess other than letting her know we mailed our swap out, I am fairly new here, and if that is something I should be doing, and haven't, someone let me know. I am still learning here.

    Oh, and I kinda like making her go to the post office to get your swap.

    I don't know what I would do, but that tone sure didn't seem nice or encouraging for another swap.

  2. Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    I will be very careful and make sure I don't join anymore of her swaps.

    What originally happened is that there was another Mexican swap with a different host... we got an email about two weeks before the swap was due letting us know that we should not mail out the swaps (at that time I had not done it, but I had purchased what I needed). I think the original host got sick or something so Ami hosted this one as replacement for the first one. I really don't know why I joined over there, I hadn't done that in a long time. Right now I'm in four swaps here and that's more than I need! I had in fact thought of contacting Ami a couple of weeks ago and ask her to drop me, but then decided against it. So I guess I'm still undecided... I just didn't like her tone, and yes emails can be deceiving because you don't really know what the person is thinking, but she did sound threatening and the truth is none of us have done anything wrong. The swap isn't due for another week. She did send the same PM to a bunch of us. With Memorial Day, I have an extra day to think about whether or not I will actually send it out... I'll let you all know what I decided to do!

    Oh, btw... I only have about 200+ posts over there and I joined way before I found the shack. She has even less posts than I do... so perhaps she is inexperienced.

    Thanks for all the advice!!!
    Mary Jayne
    Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
    John Lennon

  3. Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyKat View Post
    I am not defending ANYONE in this discussion. I belong to both SCS and Stamp Shack. I know the problems going on over at SCS concerning swaps and it has not been "pretty."
    Might I ask you to consider these things?
    1. What day was the swap opened?
    2. What day did you join?
    3. Have you posted ANYTHING on that swap since you joined?

    Since June 1 is getting closer, perhaps the hostess is a little worried about your status in her swap, especially if you have not contacted her since you signed up.

    I agree that her tone was NOT going to make her any friends and I would not ever join any of her swaps in the future.

    However, I would mail in my swap contribution and (knowing me), I would send it the fastest way and send it so that SHE is required to SIGN for it. Obviously, when I get mad, I GET MAD! LOL!

    I wouldn't even say anything about her tone. I would PM her, say that it is on its way and let the aggravation begin for HER, when she has to trot down to the P.O. to get it ( if she is not at home when it is delivered).
    I didn't communicate with her after I joined... I usually don't unless I know them, but she didn't make an effort either. I usually only reply when PM's are sent asking questions. You are right, I should make her go sign for my package... great idea!!! I joined a while back, don't even remember when... it actually took me a while to work on this swap because I couldn't find any "Mexican theme" paper in my area (the entire South Texas) so I waited for the new Hobby Lobby to open in Laredo which is 50 miles away from me and I finally found something that "will work" as Mexican... my bff (myrnabs) is furious, she wants me to tell her off and drop out!!! I'm still debating.
    Mary Jayne
    Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
    John Lennon

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Down Under, Western Australia
    Posts
    14,854

    Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Swapping goes wrong mainly thru lack of communication. I love it when a hostess sends an update saying " I have received from a, b and c. Still waiting on x, and y.
    I can then send email back saying "mine will go postal Tuesday" or whatever.
    If you pull out, you let down the rest of the swap group, who have done nothing wrong, but will be offended by you pulling out at the last minute when they have already spent lots of money making enough swap items for the whole group. Your reputation as a swapper will be tarnished- don't let her have that affect on you!
    If you were offended by her words then don't swap with her again. I would certainly wait until you get your swap back before sending her a message suggesting a more tactful way to communicate with future swappers.
    Sarah



  5. Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Quote Originally Posted by loobylou View Post
    Swapping goes wrong mainly thru lack of communication. I love it when a hostess sends an update saying " I have received from a, b and c. Still waiting on x, and y.
    I can then send email back saying "mine will go postal Tuesday" or whatever.
    If you pull out, you let down the rest of the swap group, who have done nothing wrong, but will be offended by you pulling out at the last minute when they have already spent lots of money making enough swap items for the whole group. Your reputation as a swapper will be tarnished- don't let her have that affect on you!
    If you were offended by her words then don't swap with her again. I would certainly wait until you get your swap back before sending her a message suggesting a more tactful way to communicate with future swappers.
    Good point!
    Mary Jayne
    Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
    John Lennon

  6. #16

    Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Mary Jane, when I join someone's swap, I usually do not send the hostess an email explaining what stage of the swap I'm at until it's completed and in the mail to her. Then I'll usually email her and tell her to be expecting it. When I host a swap, as hostess I do make a point of communicating with my swappers every couple of weeks giving them gentle reminders of when the swap is due, how much time is left and who I received swaps from and who I'm waiting on. I really expect a response from the swappers I'm waiting on to let me know their status but I don't expect to hear from them otherwise unless they do like I do and let the hostess know their swap is in the mail. I guess my point being it wasn't up to you to communicate with your hostess unless you wanted to let her know your swap was mailed; it was up to your hostess to keep in communication with you but not in the tone she used. Like Sarah said, don't let down the other swappers and don't join any more of that hostess's swaps. After you receive your swap is when you should send her an email explaining exactly how you feel and that if she ever sent another threatening email to you that you would do the same thing to her about her nasty emails to participants. Good Luck and oh yes, make her go to the post office to sign for your swap! That will really get her goat!
    Joanne

    There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.~ Pablo Picasso

  7. Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    Quote Originally Posted by tojoco View Post
    Mary Jane, when I join someone's swap, I usually do not send the hostess an email explaining what stage of the swap I'm at until it's completed and in the mail to her. Then I'll usually email her and tell her to be expecting it. When I host a swap, as hostess I do make a point of communicating with my swappers every couple of weeks giving them gentle reminders of when the swap is due, how much time is left and who I received swaps from and who I'm waiting on. I really expect a response from the swappers I'm waiting on to let me know their status but I don't expect to hear from them otherwise unless they do like I do and let the hostess know their swap is in the mail. I guess my point being it wasn't up to you to communicate with your hostess unless you wanted to let her know your swap was mailed; it was up to your hostess to keep in communication with you but not in the tone she used. Like Sarah said, don't let down the other swappers and don't join any more of that hostess's swaps. After you receive your swap is when you should send her an email explaining exactly how you feel and that if she ever sent another threatening email to you that you would do the same thing to her about her nasty emails to participants. Good Luck and oh yes, make her go to the post office to sign for your swap! That will really get her goat!
    That is exactly what I'm doing... I'm sending her the swap tomorrow and I'm paying extra so she has to sign for it. As soon as I get the swap back I will be sending her and equally nasty PM letting her know how rude she was. I'm sending it because, like some of you say... I can't let down the other swappers. However, I will never swap with her again, nor will I join swaps that she is participating in!!

    FYI... the only reason why I joined this particular swap is because we don't do many recipe swaps here anymore. What is wrong with me, I don't need to cook anymore... after the surgery I eat like a bird!!!
    Perhaps I can host a low-carb recipe swap... if anyone is interested please let me know!!!
    Mary Jayne
    Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
    John Lennon

  8. #18

    Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    [/QUOTE]Perhaps I can host a low-carb recipe swap... if anyone is interested please let me know!!![/QUOTE]


    I don't know about a low-carb recipe swap because I could never give up on my pasta but I would certainly be interested in some type of a healthy low-calorie recipe swap.
    Joanne

    There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.~ Pablo Picasso

  9. #19

    Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    I did not mean to imply that you should have PM'ed or e-mailed her.
    What I meant was this:
    Usually, over on SCS, when someone joins a swap, they list right at that point what they will be doing. Like, for example, I list the stamp I have chosen to use.

    IF I did NOT know what I would be using when I signed up, I would then post AGAIN when I did know. It's just sort of like letting her know I am still "alive." LOL!

    If someone only signs up and the hostess does not hear anything else, they all get "scared."

    Again, her tone is not going to win her any "Miss Congeniality" titles but they are "running scared" over there on the swap forum.
    Susan Paulson

    "The smallest feline is a masterpiece.".....Leonardo da Vince

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Cape Cod, MA USA
    Posts
    14,850

    Re: SWAP rudeness at SCS

    MJ,
    I think you should definitely continue with this swap.
    However, when the time comes to send her an email about your feelings, I'd keep it 'non-nasty.' Once you've written something, you cannot take it back.
    If it were me, I'd keep it to the point and avoid anything that can look like you have gone down to her level!
    You will have gotten your feelings off your chest, but you have kept your dignity and you'll come off smelling like a rose!
    LOL
    JMHO
    Joanie

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