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shurlyjean
10-28-2007, 03:48 PM
OK... the lease has not been signed,,, my hubby goes at lightning speed to get things done and mom is a snail... They are both black and white with their ideas... it's either this or that... or none at all. My mom tries her darnest to get her own way and hubby calls her on this... she hates that and talks in circles.

I tend to want "gray" compromise.... lets work this out. Hubby has been patient, but when he get's going the time is totally inappropriate and his pace is way too fast,,, but he thinks he right.

So hubby and I talked to mom,,, and she is maddddd.... She tried to run away, but hubby touched her and she said he pushed her.... I was there and she needed to stay to hear us out. This is how she gets her way... she runs, delays, manipulates.

Overall she is a really good person, but a pain in the ...... so is hubby....

I cried all day yesterday because I knew these ideas were not going to be to her liking... hubby says it is tough love...I don't understand why she has to move, but hubby did say the apartment opened up and that is why... He did have good reasons for it... but snail... just can't do that.

She is a reactive, not proactive.... which drives hubby crazy,,, me too sometimes, but I tend to go with the flow. Life is too short to get bent out of shape... We were making snail pace headway, but now everything is back to being rotten. Hubby would not listen to me about the time,,, he had to "be right".... now he is backing off a little.

He thinks she rather be with her cats then the grandkids... she LOVES the grandkids and they know... but hubby has never taken the time to even realize this... he just things her demeaners says it all... she is a negative personality,, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love the grandkids.... plus people need to know how to deal with a variety of personalities...

So that was my last 24 hours....sucky... Couldn't even post my weekly swap, but did get some Christmas cards made.

Shirley

workin4stamps
10-28-2007, 03:58 PM
wow. I can't believe all that you have going on Shirley. I sure hope they can come to some sort of a peaceful resolution soon....for everyone's sake.

HUGS!

Traci

Christie
10-28-2007, 04:13 PM
Sorry to hear that your dh and your mom are butting heads. I'm so thankful that my dbf gets along with my mom and vise versa. I'm sure this is so hard on you, and they probably don't even realize it. Hope things get better for you soon.

cindi
10-28-2007, 04:19 PM
I''m sorry this is so hard to get resolved, I am sure you are getting very stressed & tired about it.
I will pray for peace in your home & family
Hugs
Cindi

Patty
10-28-2007, 07:32 PM
My prayers are with you and your family--when emotions are involved things get tense. Maybe another day or 2 will bring peace harmony--hugs to all--patty

emmcee
10-28-2007, 08:48 PM
Gee, Shirley, you are sure having a rough time right now. My heart goes out to you. Hope you can get things kind of peaceful soon.

Canadian, eh
10-28-2007, 08:58 PM
Way, way back you said this was temporary. It appears your husband feels it is time to make the change. I totally understand both of your positions, but you did say temporary. Hugs in your decision making.

ellie
10-28-2007, 10:20 PM
I'm sorry Shirley. All of this being in the middle is so not good for you. It sounds to me like counseling might be worth a thought. It is very difficult when you have to make choices concerning what's best for elderly parents esp. when dh is involved. Maybe, if this continues, you could go and just have someone to help you to feel better about your decisions. I remember when Patty & I had to make decisions about our mom...we felt guilty, sad, frustrated...all at once and we didn't have stress between dh & mom thrown into the mix.

patg
10-28-2007, 11:43 PM
Oh my goodness Shirley! What a day! Things will find a way to work things out. Hugs to you! Pat

mjbonoan
10-29-2007, 02:16 AM
I remember when this first started months ago. My heart goes out to you, if must be very difficult to be in the middle of two very loved persons in your life. I'm not sure of your moms condition or situation, my prayers are with you and hopefully everything will fall into place.


We lost our dad 10 yrs ago and never quite got over it. Mom and baby bro (11 yo at the time) came to live with us and stayed here for almost 3 yrs. Baby bro is now 21 yrs old and has moved 250 miles away to go to college. My mom stays with us most of the time. Unlike your situation, Mike (dh) always wants mom to stay, hates it when she leaves. We are in the process of moving our rooms around to make room for mom full time... she's only 62, very active, goes to church every day with her bff, she retired in December 06 from her position as County and Distrcit Clerk... in our case I don't want her staying alone, she's fallen twice in the shower and has osteoporosis (sp)... I'm afraid she'll fall and break a bone! Have I mention that her home is next door to us? However, we prefer to live the old lady in the shoe!

threefriends91
10-29-2007, 02:42 AM
Oh Shirley! l'm so sorry you are going through all this. it sure is tough and very difficult for you and them. l will pray that your hb and mom can work this out and that all of you can come to some kind of agreement soon before it gets out of control. l'm sending you hugs and prayers

mjbonoan
10-29-2007, 10:47 AM
Shirly, I'm still thinking of you this morning... Hope you have a better day today and I'll continue praying that your family woes will soon be resolved.